Naked on a Plane

Okay, we’ve heard about American Airlines plan to charge $15 for your first checked bag and $25 for the second. It seems like airlines are doing everything they can to produce extra revenue these days. Passengers are charged extra for pillows and blankets. On a recent flight, I noticed that the snacks now cost an extra three-to-five dollars.

But are you ready for this??? A German airline was due to provide a flight for nudists, but cancelled the trip. Here's the story. . .

Despite being fully booked by naturists wanting to take off and strip off, a German travel company said Thursday it has decided to scrap a special nude flight that had been scheduled for this summer.

The July 5 flight was due to be the first of many and was aimed at east Germans nostalgic for the naturism that was authorised and extremely popular under communist rule.

But OssiUrlaub.de, the firm organising the service to a picturesque Baltic Sea island, said it has had second thoughts after "moral objections" in the media and from visitors to its Internet portal, a spokesman said.

The 50 people with tickets would have boarded the flight in the eastern city of Erfurt fully clothed, but once on the plane would have been free to undress and enjoy the rest of the journey as nature intended.

They will now receive a full refund as well as a voucher for other products offered by the company, whose core business caters to holidaymakers who keep their clothes on, it stressed.

Now, I have no problem with nudists. I’ve even been to a nudist beach a few times and once you’re there, it all seems pretty nonchalant and natural. No big deal.

But on a flight??? No. I’m sorry. That just won’t do.

We’ve all been there. We find our aisle seat and buckle in. Then someone pushes their way right next to you, trying desperately to shove their over-sized carry-on in the overhead luggage bin. Their waist is right next to your face while they strain and shove and shove.

Okay, you get the picture.

When flying, I try my best to keep to myself. On crowded flights, we’re packed in there like sardines, fighting for the arm rest. I try not to touch my seat mate and avoid any contact whatsoever.

But on a nudist flight, their naughty bits would be right there next to you for three hours. That’s just wayyyy too intimate for me. And what if they’re ugly or smell bad? Many airline passengers are, you know.

Oh, and then your neighbor in the window seat always has to get up and wedge their way past you on their way to the toilet. That’s uncomfortable enough with clothes on.

And what about those really turbulent flights? I can just see it now. . .

So often, I get seated in the back of the plane. As you know, that’s where crowds gather to wait for the toilets. Can’t you just picture it, sitting in an aisle seat? All those genitalia just inches away from your ear.

Sorry. I’m just not into “aural” sex.

No. Nudity is fine at designated beaches, but I have to side with the German airline on this one.