Reunited and It Feels So Good

My internet and phone problems have effectively been resolved.

You see, I used Vonage for my home phone. That’s the broadband-based phone system that gives you unlimited long distance and lots of other cool features for only $24.95 a month. Vonage’s advertisements tout their reliability; however, the very nature of Vonage is that it relies on broadband internet.

My broadband internet sucked. It was about as reliable as . . . . let me see. . . .what’s the most unreliable thing I can think of. . . . Oh yeah, my broadband provider, MDU Communications.

MDU (Multi-Dwelling Unit) has a monopoly on the downtown sector of Chicago. It’s the only broadband provider for all the high-rise condos. And they suck. They used to provide the cable TV as well, but their sucktitude forced them to give it up. (Now we have Direct TV)

If the wind blows above 5 mph, the internet goes down. If there is rain or snow, no internet. Same thing if a bird perches on the cable or if more than two users on at the same time.

Whenever I’d call them to complain, they’d just say that a lot of users were online and they’d look into improving the service, which essentially means, “Go rub a lamp.”

Since my internet was so iffy, that meant my phone service was too. Oh, and did I tell you that the cell phone reception in my building is non-existent?

“The cell phone reception in my building is non-existent.” Just ask my parents or Miss Healthypants.

So, because I had no phone service, I couldn’t do things like call Direct TV to have Showtime added or call out for Thai food. It was a horrible way to live.

Finally I called AT&T (from work) and requested good, old fashioned phone service. I have to admit that I was impressed with their customer service. The phone guy arrived when he said he would and once I had phone service, the floodgates opened.

I called everyone just to talk. It was wonderful.

After they got tired of me, I called Direct TV and changed my line-up. I had Spicy Crazy Noodles delivered from Sing-Ha.

I then called AT&T (from home) and ordered AT&T high speed internet. Within two days, the modem was shipped and I got it hooked up last night.

I couldn’t BELIEVE how fast it was! I was so used to the constipated broadband from MDU. I was making sounds of amazement with every click.

“What kinds of sounds?” you ask.

Okay, do you remember that famous scene in the deli from When Harry Met Sally? That’s what you would have heard in the hallway near my apartment last night.

Oh, and here’s the best part. Right after I got it all hooked up, I called MDU and broke up with them. Over the phone. Of course, they asked what they could do to keep me as a customer.

“Rub a lamp,” I replied.