UFOs

Okay, my recent post was about Bigfoot, so today I thought I’d talk about UFOs.

Do I think they exist? Sure. There are lots of unidentified flying objects. I see them outside my apartment window all the time.

They’re flying.
And I don’t know what they are.

Most of the time, I can bet that they're probably American Airlines passenger jets, two hours late getting into O’Hare. That can be a safe assumption.

But the real question is, are there extra-terrestrial alien aircraft flying around here on our planet.

I don’t know.

First of all, our little human minds cannot even begin to comprehend how utterly far away another inhabitable planet would be from Earth. Hell, I have a hard time just trying to realize how far Peoria is from Chicago. (I have to go there on Monday and I normally don't venture outside a five-block radius in downtown Chicago).

I don't know why aliens would come here. If they have the technology to travel such distances, don't you think their own planet would be a lot more interesting than Earth?

Sort of like downtown Chicago compares to Peoria.

If they did land here, here's how I imagine their conversation would go:

Zork: “Hey! Look at those Earthlings. They’re at it again.”

Xron: “What. The republican lawmakers? Again?

Zork: “Yep. Another one says he’s not gay but then picks up a call-boy in a naughty video store.”

Xron: “Eeewww! The last one tried that in a men’s restroom. In Minneapolis.”

“I know! Why can’t they do it like normal gay guys, like meeting for a latte at Starbucks?”

“I love Starbucks! Have you tried their chai tea latte? It’s to die for.”

“You should try their pumpkin mocha cappuccino. They only sell it during the Autumn months, you know.”

“That sounds great. You got some time?”

“Yeah, we don’t have to be back at the mother-ship for another hour.”

“OOooo. And I have a gift certificate someone from work gave me.”