Saggin'

I just read where eight states are considering a ban on “sagging.”

For those of you who are way too non-urban, “sagging” is when young urban males wear their trousers practically down around their knees, thinking that it makes them cool.

For those of you who don’t know what “urban” means, then I wouldn’t advise taking a trip on a Chicago subway after 7:00 pm. Actually, I wouldn’t advise coming to Chicago at all.

Frankly, I think the sagging thing is, . . . well . . . stupid.

I mean, how the hell do they keep their pants from coming completely . . . well . . . . off!

I see these hip, urban young guys on the subway and I’m just amazed at some of them. What, in their minds, do they think makes this sort of apparel attractive? I also wonder what makes it comfortable. You’d think they’d be constantly pre-occupied with keeping their pants from falling down. Further.

I just don’t get it.

Now then. It’s like I’ve got room to talk.

I went to high school in the mid 70s when every young person wore clothes that made us look as ugly as possible. And I was no exception.

Picture this: In high school, I was six-foot-three and weighed 150 pounds. I loved the platform shoes. I remember fighting with my mom in the middle of JC Penny because I wanted to buy these super-high platform shoes.

They were maroon.

Maroon!

And bell-bottoms? Loved em’. Loved! Them! I insisted, not only in wearing bell-bottoms, but “elephant bells.” I had a pair that were mustard yellow. Size 30 x 36. With my super-high maroon platform shoes. Getting the picture?

Then, in college during the height of the New Wave era, I dyed my hair white.

Not blond.

Not platinum blond,

But paper-napkin white.

If I had been anyone’s dad, I wouldn’t have let my daughter (or son) date me, looking like that.

So, yeah, I’ve got a lot of room to criticize the sagging thing.

But you know what? Clothes and styles of the 70s were just plain fun. Yes, they were stupid and, yes, we were ugly. But it was all fun.

Sagging, on the other hand, originates from prison culture where men aren’t allowed to wear belts. Unless you’re really messed up, nothing about prison is “fun.”

I don't agree that laws should be passed that inhibit one's expression to wear what they want. (Except for Britney Spears.) But for the life of me, I don’t know why these guys want to emulate prison culture.

Besides, it looks just plain, . . . well . . .

. . . stupid.