Al Fresco Dining

I suppose this topic should go under “Wednesday’s Whinings” but I haven’t done that in a while.

I really don’t like eating outside. If I’m with friends on a nice, pleasant evening and they want to sit outside, I’ll do it because I don’t want to be a stick in the mud, but I’d much prefer sitting indoors.

Quite a number of restaurants in Chicago offer outdoor seating during the summer months. I suppose it’s because winters here are so long and brutal that Chicagoans like to be outdoors whenever possible.

But if I’m paying for a nice dinner, I want a controlled environment in which to enjoy it. Eating outdoors in Chicago to me is, well, like being homeless. You’re surrounded by lots of noise, funny smells, exhaust fumes, cars blaring rap music, bugs and kamakaze pigeons.
Eating out on a city sidewalk?
Yep, homeless.

No, if I’m paying for a nice meal, I want the amenities that go with it: The air conditioning, the controlled sound system, carpeting, the well-chosen artwork on the walls and the absence of pedestrians. Isn’t that why we went out to eat in the first place, to get away from the public?

Also, I don’t want hundreds of pedestrians looking at my meal. My menu choices are a very personal matter to me. Whenever I walk by a sidewalk restaurant, I always look at the diners and what’s on their plates. I’m way too self-conscious to have the public gawking at me and my baby lamb chops.

If I'd been one of the twelve apostles and Jesus wanted to have the Last Supper outside, I would have told him, "Ummm, Jerusalem in April? With all the donkeys? I don't think so.
You guys go ahead."