Girls' Night Out

Tonight will be a gala event.

I will be accompanying four women to dinner and to see the Sex and the City movie.

Originally, it was just going to be Miss Healthypants and me. Iwanski did not want to see the Sex and the City movie with us for some reason that I cannot even begin to fathom.

Then, Miss Healthypants invited a friend of hers along who, in turn, invited a couple of other friends. So, it will be a huge girly-girl outing tonight.

I don’t mind. Truth be told, I’m a big fan of “chick flicks.” One of my favorite things to do is to watch back-to-back movies on the Lifetime Movie Network throughout an entire Saturday.

Give me a movie starring Meredith Baxter or Judith Light in which they’ve been scorned by a nasty husband and then develop an eating disorder and I’m in heaven. Sheer heaven.

Have you noticed that all the movies on the Lifetime Channel have to do with misogynist men and the horrible way they treat women? Actually, I think the Lifetime Channel should change their name to the Misandry Channel.

Here’s a typical lineup of Lifetime movies on a given Saturday afternoon:

A Woman Scorned

A Daughter Scorned

A Mother’s Plea

A Daughter’s Plea: Stop Hurting My Mother

Please Save My Daughter

Please Save My Fallopian Tube

Broken Vows

A Promise Broken

Castration: A Promise for Revenge

Men Are Terrible and Will Hurt You

Men Are Terrible and Will Still Hurt You

Anorexia: Meredith’s Secret

My Husband Makes Me Binge and Purge

And on and on.

Anyway, I'm really really looking forward to the movie tonight.

Sex and the City -- The Movie

Next month, the Sex and the City movie will be released.

On April 15, actor Cynthia Nixon (Miranda) let it slip that one of the characters will die in the movie.

Apparently, the blog world has gone crazy with speculations of who it will be. That’s so stupid and such a waste of time. . .

. . . Really. . .

. . . So, who do you think it’ll be???

My bet?

Since you asked, I think it’ll be Steve, Miranda’s husband. His testicular cancer will return. Then, Miranda will be able to sell their house in Brooklyn and move back to The City where she belongs.

Besides, Cynthia Nixon was the one who let it slip, so it's gotta be Steve.

I’m so glad I didn’t jump on the bandwagon like all the other bloggers.

Springfield-Bound

I have to drive to Springfield in the morning for a two-and-a-half day conference. Right now, it's 8:30 the night before.

So, what am I doing right now?

What else? I'm doing laundry so that I'll have clean underpants to wear.
And recharging the cell phone.
And the laptop.
And the iPod.
All the necessary toys are charging up all around me.

During this conference, the eight employees that I supervise around the state will be there. We'll be having a staff meeting on the first day and I hope it goes well. I don't think they hate me so I'm not expecting an ambush or anything. But you never know. Frankly, I'll just be glad if the pastries I ordered show up.

I was looking at the workshops that will be held and I instantly recognized one of them. It's a personality profile thing where you answer all these questions and then the results tell you what "color" you are.
Here's an example of how the four personality types work. Let's say, you purchase a bicycle which comes in a jillion pieces in a box.

The "red" person is task-oriented. She will pay the bicycle shop the extra money to assemble it and then wait impatiently for it.

The "yellow" person is the people-person. She'll invite several friends over and have a "bicycle-assembly party."

The "green" person will read the instructions, count the parts, lay them out in categories and methodically assemble it.

The "blue" person will leave it in the box for a few days and finally end up creatively assembling it but not necessarily following the instructions. The brakes might not work, but that's okay.

Now then, here's the thing. The colors that are diagonal from each other really have a hard time getting along with one another. For example, a blue person would drive a red person crazy. Same with a yellow and green person.

Conversely, the colors next to each other might get along okay and people usually have a blend of those colors.

I am pretty much a blue person (well, quite a bit, actually). However, I can be green, less seldom, yellow. Being red is pretty difficult for me. A red-yellow person would cause me to require sedatives, preferably a Thorazine drip.

Need some more illustrations? Okay.

Let's take the characters from Sex and the City.
(Now! We're talking. . . )

Samantha is red.
Charlotte is yellow.
Miranda is green.
Carrie is blue.

I hope I can hook up with Miranda while I'm at the conference. She and I will be the ones making fun of the Charlottes and avoiding the Samanthas.

So? What's your color?

Sex and the (Second) City

Last night, I met "the girls" for our usual dinner get-together. I love meeting my girlfriends for dinner and we've had some fantastic meals together. Dishing with the girls over dinner is so "Sex and the City" only we're not nearly as cool as they are and this is Chicago and not New York.

I was trying to think of which character each of us represents. I think it would go like this:

Miss Healthypants would be Carrie because they're both cute, blonde and chirpy.

Liane would be Miranda because she looks kind of like Miranda and works for a law firm.

Carol would be Samantha because she's looking for a boyfriend and just bought a new condo.

And I would be the gay guy with whom Aiden is having a secret affair. (Sorry, Carrie)

Okay, I just made up that last character. But it's my scenario so deal with it.

Afterwards, MHP and I went to Bed Bath & Beyond which should aptly be re-named "Bed Bath & We-Have-Everything-You-Want-But-Can't-Afford."

We both bought new Santoku knives because we both had crappy Santoku knives to begin with. And Santoku knives are SO Rachel Ray right now. Then I bought some more Kaboom because one can never have too much Kaboom in your house. (That stuff is fantastic and it smells really good too.)

Then we went to the grocery store which is next to Bed Bath & We-Have-Everything-You-Want-But-Can't-Afford.

MHP bought some nice cat food; the kind that isn't killing cats this week. I needed some bread so that I could make sandwiches to bring to work instead of spending ten dollars a day in the Expensive Food Court where I work. Right now, I'm eating a Cobb salad for lunch from the Expensive Food Court where I work. So much for good intentions.

Because of my new job, my life is sort of resembling Miranda's right now. Work, work, work, Cobb salad, work.

On a lighter note, I see that the Supreme Court just banned partial-birth abortions. Abortion is a touchy subject, so I'll tread lightly here.

Frankly, with the state these kids are in today, I think federally funded abortions should be available and legal up to the 60th trimester. If your sixteen year old comes home with a tattoo-covered chest or becomes a skinhead, then, blip! That's it.

I should have suggested that before they took their vote. Oh well, maybe next time.