Another One Bites the Dust

Wow.

Yet another holier-than-thou Republican congressional member has been caught doing naughty things with a guy according to police reports that have been made public.

I'll bet Larry Craig is jumping for joy, now that the attention will be focused on Rep. Richard Curtis instead of himself for a while.

Only this time, Curtis was wearing women's lingerie . . (red stockings and a black sequined lingerie top -- now there's a nifty visual for you) and wanted to pay a call-boy a lot extra to have unpotected sex.

Here's the police report.
It's nasty.

And yet, he recently voted against a bill that created domestic partnerships for same-sex couples. All in the name of protecting the "sanctity of marriage."

Let's see . . . Having unprotected sex with a male prostitute.
Then possibly infecting his wife.

I wonder what she thinks about his ideas regarding sanctified marriage?

Normally, I don't revel in the foibles of others. (With the exception of Britney Spears). I have plenty of foibles myself. But when a lawmaker tries to further his career by denying rights to gays and then gets caught doing those things, then all bets are off. You're blog-fodder, buddy.

Besides, he's ugly.

I wonder how many people will go out for Halloween dressed as congressional Republicans this year? Just wear a bathroom stall around you or red stockings and a sequined black teddy, and you've got it made.

Oh, and get this. Just like Larry Craig, he had sex with man but he claims he's not gay.
Go figure.

He just wears lingerie, has sex with a man in a slimy sex shop, then offers him a thousand dollars to have unprotected sex, and says he's not gay.

He's right. "Gay" doesn't describe him.
"Messed up" does.
Waayyy up.

Epilogue: Curtis just turned in his resignation to the state governor.
At least his quick exit will, hopefully, expose his wife and daughters to the least amount of publicity.
As long as the bloggers shut up. . . .

Judge Judy would love this. . .

Sen. Larry Craig lost his legal bid to have his guilty plea overturned today.

In a statement Craig said he was "extremely disappointed" with the judge's ruling and "I am innocent of the charges against me."

Um. Helloooo???

You plead GUILTY to the charges.
You have a misdemeanor on your record.
Legally.

GUILTY does not mean "innocent."

You'd think a senator would know basic "Law 101."

Sorry. I just couldn't help it.

Family Values

Here's how I imagine a dialogue went between Senator Larry Craig and his wife:

Craig: “Baby, I promise. I’m not gay!"

Wife: “Then, please tell me, why were you tapping your foot in the bathroom stall?”

I was listening to my Judy Garland collection on my i-Pod. You try listening to Chattanooga Choo-Choo without tapping your foot! Really! You just try it. It can’t be done. I promise you, I’m not gay.

But what about that page back in 83? You sent him all those gifts. And that concert! You took him to that horrible concert.

He said he liked ‘Culture Club’. I thought it was a group outing to an art museum or something. How the hell was I supposed to know?

Boy George sent you chocolates the next day.

Well. . . . I’m not gay.

And that policeman. He reported that you rubbed your foot against his.

He’s making that up! If anything, he might be gay!

How in the world would you know that? How? Tell me!

(flustered) Because his thingie tasted like shi . . . . .
Well, I just know!

You’re disgusting. Leave me alone!

(trying to hug her) No, really, baby. C’mon now.

You haven’t touched me in over twenty years. Don’t try and start now!

Ummm. Can we talk later? Men’s gymnastics is on. . . .
. . . but, I’m not gay. . . .

Peek-a-boo Update

Yesterday, I wrote that my gym, Crunch Fitness, advertises "Peek-a-boo showers" as one of their amenities.

Click here if you don't believe me.

I was wondering, “what the heck is a peek-a-boo shower?”

Last night, I was out with The Gang at our favorite place, Lao Sze Schuan and mentioned the peek-a-boo shower thing. We were all intrigued. Miss Healthypants whipped out her cell phone and called Iwanski at home and he googled it.

He reported that it was a shower and something about being able to see the occupant.

I thought that was really odd for Crunch Fitness to feature such a thing as a selling point. It’s a downtown gym where downtown people go. I could certainly see something like this being popular at, say, Cheetah Gym in the Boystown section of Chicago. But at the Crunch in my building? Most of the occupants in my building seem to be elderly Jewish women. Hardly the type of demographic that would enjoy peek-a-boo anything.

So, this morning, I called Crunch Fitness and in a very mellifluous voice, explained that I had seen “peek-a-boo” showers on their website and my friends and I were all wondering what they were.

“Please hold,” he said.

Then a woman came on the phone and I repeated my inquiry. Are you ready for this?

There’s a hallway that leads to the locker rooms. At the end of the hallway, it splits, boys on one side, girls on the other. Along the walls of the hallway are the peek-a-boo showers behind glass. Two for the boys, two for the girls. Whenever anyone is taking a shower in there, anyone in the hallway can see the silhouette of the person taking the shower.

Isn’t that weird? And it’s advertised as an amenity.

It seems like that is a feature that could open them up to a lawsuit. Some guy could be doing naughty things behind the glass for all to see. Senator Larry Craig could have gotten arrested for tapping his foot in there. You never know.

What kind of people use these things? I certainly wouldn’t want to use the peek-a-boo shower. Well, if I did, I’d do shadow-things with my hands. I can do a butterfly and a dog.

I think it would be hilarious to stage a Psycho stabbing scene in the peek-a-boo and watch the reactions.

Comedic potential is always the way to go.

PS: I took Citymouse's advice and googled it. (She's so smart) Here is a pic of another Crunch facility that features peek-a-boo showers visible from the lobby. Here's what they say:

The lobby backdrop features Crunch's signature element, the peek-a-boo shower. A portion of locker room shower stalls are located behind a double-frosted glass wall providing silhouetted views of willing club patrons.

I wonder what the Crunch salespeople would do if some huge, obese people occupied all the peek-a-boos that are visible from the lobby. I could just see that happening during a big membership drive. It would serve those smarmy salespeople right.

I still think someone should do the Psycho shower scene.

Peek-a-boo

The other night, I needed to know the hours that my gym was open so I looked at their website. (It’s Crunch Fitness, by the way)

I was perusing the amenities that Crunch has to offer, hoping to find some modicum of exercise that didn’t, well, hurt.

One of the amenities that really looked questionable was . . . are you ready for this? . . .
. . . “Peek-a-boo showers.”

Now, what in the world are “peek-a-boo showers?”

I’m intrigued. Why would anyone want to use a shower where one could peek in or out? I remember those horrible “community showers” back in high school gym class. Those were just blatantly non-private.

So, what is a peek-a-boo shower?

The Crunch facility I go to is in the lobby of my apartment building, so I’ve never any need to use the locker room facilities. Besides, locker rooms? Eewww. That’s like walking in foot-fungus quicksand.

I’m not going to peek into the locker room to see what peek-a-boo showers are. That would look weird.

Also, I’m not going to ask one of the attendants what a peek-a-boo shower is. That would be suspect and I’d be too embarrassed to ask anyway.

It’s a dilemma. How do I find out?

I know. I’ll call Senator Larry Craig’s office.

They’ll know.