Morning Scene - Virgin Mary Apparition

I was in the subway this morning and noticed a strange image in the fetid sludge dripping down the subway wall.

It looked like the image of the Virgin Mary!

Can you see it?

No? Okay, here's a close-up.

I’ll bet if I publicize this, there would be lots of those Virgin Mary apparition folks lighting candles, saying rosaries, and praying for her diving intercession in the Division Street subway on the Blue Line.

That is, until they were hit by an oncoming train.

No Fare!

When I hopped onto the CTA this past weekend, I was a little surprised to see that the fare had jumped by fifty cents, from $1.75 to $2.25.

The fares had been increased by 25 cents effective January 1st. However, for those who use the automated CTA cards, we no longer get the 25 cent discount for using them, so the fares jumped 50 cents.

On one hand, I can understand that. It really doesn’t seem fair that CTA card holders get a break because one has to have a credit card in order to use them. (The cards re-load by charging a credit card).

On the other hand, the CTA charges you five dollars to obtain a CTA card. Back when the CTA was promoting the use of them, part of the promotion was that you got a discounted fare by purchasing a CTA card. Oh, and in the “fine print”, the cards expire every four years so you have to buy another one.

I really do like the convenience of the CTA cards. I can just leave it in my wallet and wave it across the little panel whenever I get on a train or bus.

Sometimes, in really cold weather I’ll go into a nearby subway station (and pay the fare) which enables me to take an underground walk-way all the way to work.

I started to do that this morning, but then realized it would cost $2.25 rather than $1.75.

Nope. I braved the cold weather of downtown Chicago instead.

CTA just lost a $2.25 fare. I hope they’re pleased with themselves.

Morning Scene - The EL

I had to take the “EL” yesterday morning to a meeting

This is the State & Lake station which is nearest my apartment. It’s old and really doesn’t have enough room for waiting passengers. I have no idea how the CTA will go about remodeling it like they are with other stations like this one.

More Money!

The City of Chicago will be implementing several new implementations in order to gain more revenue in the next few weeks.

In case you’ve been living under a dead weasel recently, “revenue” has practically become non-existent these days. So, The City has decided to put the following revenue-inducing items in place.

Frankly, I’m all for them.

CTA increase:

For the past four years, one could buy these CTA “smart cards” from the Chicago Transit Authority. When you got on the train or bus, you’d just wave the CTA card across a panel, it would deduct $1.75 from your card and let you through.

When your CTA card got down below ten dollars, it would automatically add twenty dollars to it by charging your credit card. You’d never have to fiddle with cash or buy tickets from the machine. Pretty nifty.

If you didn’t have a CTA card, you had to pay $2.00 per ride rather than $1.75. Essentially, CTA card holders got a free ride on every tenth ride. It was a pretty good deal.

So, in order to raise revenue, these discounts that CTA card holders get will no longer be available. We’ll get charged the same as everybody else.

And, frankly, I’m all for it even though I use a CTA card.

It seemed that the CTA cards were somewhat “elitist,” being that one had to have a credit card in order to use a CTA card. The folks without credit cards have been shouldering 13% more of the cost compared to credit card holders for the past four years.

CTA is also raising the fare to $2.25 per ride - - a 12% increase. (A 23% increase for CTA card holders) Compare that with how much gasoline has increased recently.

Parking Fines:

Have you ever been driving around and seen a car with one of those yellow parking boots on it? Apparently, if you have more than three unpaid parking tickets, your car is subjected to being booted. Then, you have to pay something like $200 bucks to get the boot removed. Eventually, your car gets impounded if you don’t.

Well, the City is lowing this to two unpaid tickets rather than three.

If you’ve ever been blocked in by an illegally parked car, you’d be cheering on the boot putter-onners. Besides, parking illegally can be a safety hazard.
Boot ‘em, I say!

Traffic Fines:

In many of the busy intersections, there are cameras that automatically take a photo of your license plate when you run a red light. Then, a traffic fine is sent to the license plate holder.

The City will be installing a lot more of these cameras in the near future.

I know it’s kind of Big Brother-y, but again, running a red light is awfully dangerous. I’d be a lot more conscious of stopping at yellow lights if I knew I’d automatically get fined for running a red one.

Parking Taxes:

The City is going to tax the fees on parking garages. Yes, I know. We don’t like higher taxes in this country.

So, take the CTA into downtown. It’s still a heck of a deal.

______________________________

Now then. If I were King of Chicago, here are a few revenue-producing ventures I would implement:

1. Enforce fines for littering on CTA trains and buses. No one wants to sit on your discarded chicken bones.

2. Theatres should figure out a way to implement a fee for anyone “saving” seats for a whole row of friends.

3. Doctors should reduce their fees - - say, $20 for every fifteen minutes they make you wait past your appointed time. (Okay, that’s revenue in MY pocket)

4. Internet providers should add a fee anytime a subscriber sends an email in all caps.

5. If a subway passenger wants to sprinkle every sentence with f-words, then they should have to pay more to ride in an R-rated car. I know that sounds prudish, but really!

. . . . I want to be King of Chicago

3rd of July

Chicago has NEVER celebrated Independence Day on the 4th day of July.

As my Southern Baptist grandmother in Texas always told me, there are way too many Catholics who need to need every extra holiday to recuperate from all their celebrating. . .

. . . So, the fireworks-and-mayhem has always been done-and-over-with on the night-of-the-last work-day, being July 3rd.

Most of the main streets into downtown have always been blocked off the night of July Third in Chicago. This is a hopeful endeavor to encourage everyone in the suburbs to use mass transit which consists of the EL, buses, commuter trains, taxis, or assaulting homeless persons for cash like God intended.

Iwanski, Miss Healthypants, and I were able to look down from my 49th floor balcony tonight at all the revelers.

I gotta admit that it was lots of fun to watch from five hundred feet up, everyone in SUVs from the suburbs be instantly snaggled and inundated with trying to have a good time in downtown Chicago.

Meanwhile, we're peering down, feeling all superior. We're thinking, "Yes, we pay a gazillion dollars a month for an apartment the size of an Ex-lax wafer, but you know what? We're home!"

Here's a photo from my balcony of the downtown traffic

Can you see all the bumper-to-bumper traffic down there on Wacker Drive trying to head into downtown?

Can you imagine how much parking attendants are making? (Hint: It's twenty dollars for the first hour and three dollars for each additional hour, just so you know)

And are not all of us downtown-dwellers just the most superior things? (Gas was $4.89 for regular at the BP yesterday)

Yes? Take a look. That traffic isn't moving. I could have taken this same photo two hours later and it would remain unchanged.

Doesn't that look like fun?

Wednesday's Whining -- Subway Hogs

I just hate it when I get on a crowded subway where there's standing room only and some inconsiderate lout is taking up two seats, or seated on the aisle seat, or taking up an extra seat with their belongings.

That is just SO inconsiderate. There can be little old ladies having to stand up around them, but there they'll be, all sprawled out over both seats.

I want to walk over and smack them on the back of the head, just like my second-grade teacher, Mrs. Ladewig, did to me once. (I was seated in the front row and she gave each of us front-row kids a stack of papers to take one and pass it back. I just sat there not knowing what to do and she smacked me! The thing is, I had yet to be taught the complicated "take-one-and-pass-it-back" procedure. No fair!)

So, I want to smack! these people on the subway. I really do. They SO deserve it.

One time, though, there was this punk kid sitting sideways across the two seats as the rest of us were standing in the aisle, hanging onto the poles. He was listening to a portable CD player with headphones, head bobbing in and out like a spastic pigeon.

So I just stood there next to him, staring at the CD player in his lap with a little grin on my face, never making eye contact. I'm sure that made him a little nervous; this guy just staring and smiling at his lap.

Finally, he turned away, leaving the extra seat vacant. HA!!! Gotcha!
I didn't even have to smack him.

I got off at the next stop.
Stupid punk.

Under the City

Having lived in New York City for two years, Toronto for three years and now Chicago for six years, I’ve ridden a lot of subways in these three cities and, let me tell you, all subways are not created equal.

Rudeness

In New York, there are just too many people going to too many places in too much of a hurry. Once the doors open, it’s everyone for themselves. People have to shove to get off the train because people are shoving to get on the train. There’s just no time to be polite. It just wouldn't be efficient. And after a while, you just become inured to the wierdness: Okay, that guy just ate a live chipmunk. Ho hum.

In Toronto, orderliness is the rule of the day. The doors open and everyone on the platform politely stands aside while the passengers file off, then everyone files onto the nice, clean train. I suppose since it’s a grillion degrees below zero most of the time, if orderliness and consideration wasn’t the norm, you’d die.

Chicagoans fall somewhere in between. Sure, Chicago is a large city with lots of people but it’s tempered by the fact that this is still the Midwest and not New York.

Cleanliness

New York’s subways are old, gritty, and the stations are not air conditioned. If you want to experience Hell on Earth, try waiting in a lower-level subway station in the summertime. Those city streets just radiate heat into the concrete stations so that it's like waiting for a train in a pizza oven. Literally, it can reach 125 degrees down there. The platforms reek of steaming urine and tracks are littered with half-poached rats. It’s not pretty. (And this is after Giuliani cleaned up the city). You really have to be a tough puppy to ride the subways in New York.

Toronto, on the other hand, has nice, clean, civilized subways. Taxes are super-high in Canada. For example, a six-pack of domestic beer will set you back about twenty bucks. That much tax revenue will clean up a lot of urine in a lot of subway stations. Also, there’s a Starbucks at every single subway station in downtown Toronto. Now that’s what I call civilized.

Chicago’s subways are in between. They’re dirty only because Chicagoans can’t go five minutes without eating. And fried chicken seems to be the meal of choice while riding the CTA. Really. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been riding the train with my nose in a book and boom, the smell of KFC Original Recipe blasts through the car. Before sitting down on a train in Chicago, you’d better check for chicken bones.

Musicians

New York’s subway system has 254 stations. If you’re a musician playing for money and want passengers to donate, you’d better be unique. I’ve been amazed at the variety of music below the streets. I’ve seen instruments that I didn’t even know existed. Want to hear someone playing the sacbut? It’s there.

Okay, I just like saying "sacbut."

In Toronto, again, things are civilized and subsidized. If you want to play in a subway station, you have to have a permit and be hired by the City of Toronto to do so. Subsequently, you’ll hear a lot of nice Classical music below the icy streets.

Chicago’s subway stations seem to be dominated by a few regular locals. There’s the old woman who plays the violin, guitar, tambourine, whistles and tap dances at the same time. She knows only one song, though, consisting solely of A minor and E major chords. Then there are the two guys that drum on plastic buckets in the tunnel between the Red and Blue lines downtown. They’re really loud.

One day, I was down there and I heard rap music and groaned. (I don’t consider “rap” to be music anyway – it’s prose that’s yelled over a computerized drum beat). But this guy was not even doing that. This clown was lip-synching to rap! That has got to be the lowest form of performance art I’ve ever seen in a subway station.

New Yorkers would have laughed at him.
He would have been arrested in Toronto.
And I wanted to throw him in front of the oncoming Red line.