Calling in Sick

We've all done it before.

"Hi, Mr. Boss. I won't be coming in today. I came down with a really bad cold over the weekend."

Well, I won't be going into work today but my boss knows that I really am quite ill. You see, I called her from the emergency room at Northwestern hospital while I was there for six hours on Saturday night. (My boss used to be a nurse) Isn't that dramatic?

I had finally made it home Saturday morning from my trip, but was feeling awful. Then, I began running a temperature that afternoon. By 7 pm, it was 103.2.

I also had really bad pains in my lower back which I've never had before. So, I headed to the E.R. and they were able to see me right away (big surprise).

They began running tests. They were concerned about the lower back pain and the fever so they took blood and urine samples. Then, a really sweet nurse stuck a giant Q-tip up my nose which tested positive for influenza. One they determined I had the flu, I had to wear a surgical mask.

Also, after they determined I had the flu, the really sweet nurse hooked me up to an I.V. by jamming what looked like a knitting needle in my arm.

Then, they wanted to do a CAT-scan on my abdomen but there were several people ahead of me. So I had to wait. And wait. Finally, I had the CAT-scan done (Boy, that was a rush, let me tell you).

Then after the CAT-scan, I had to wait and wait and wait.

I just wanted to go home.

Finally, the CAT-scan results came in (no doubt having been evaluated by someone in India) and it was fine. They gave me a prescription and I was on my way, feeling a good bit better after having the I.V. and a whopping dose of Advil.

So, I'm sick with the flu. My friend, Jack, came over the next morning, got my prescription filled, and stocked me up with flu-type provisions that I requested: Gatorade, bananas, canned soup (clam chowder and minestrone) and tomato juice.

Portia came along for the ride and said hello.

I'm still running a fever. I feel horrible. I won't be blogging much.

Even though the polling place is in the lobby of my building, I shouldn't be going there and possibly infecting one of the many elderly Jewish women that live in my building.

I'm sure Obama will do fine here in Illinois without my vote.