Friday, January 25, 2008

Finger Food

I love to eat. Yes, I enjoy food.

But I’ve always had this strange aversion to eating anything with my fingers. It’s always got to be with eating utensils.

I love KFC but always forget that they only have “sporks” there to eat with. You can’t eat fried chicken with a flimsy little spork, for crying out loud.

Pizza, French fries, hamburgers, egg rolls all get eaten with knives and forks; never with my hands or fingers.

Popcorn gets eaten with a spoon or using a latex glove.

You know that shivering feeling you get down your spine when you hear someone scratching their fingernails against a chalk board? That’s the feeling I get when I even see someone eating with their fingers, especially if it’s something greasy.

I hate KFC commercials because (OH MY GOD!) they're always showing people picking up drumsticks with their fingers. Don’t get me even started on those honey barbecue wings. I have to turn my head.

I remember growing up and at the breakfast table averting my eyes when I’d see my brother eating a biscuit, the butter oozing onto his fingers.

Miss Healthypants and I were looking at family photos last night. She thought this photo of me at my second birthday was cute.

Most two-year olds would dive right in to a cake. Not me. I’m gingerly picking at it, pinky up in the air. I probably requested a fork at that point and made a critical remark about the frosting.

8 Comments:

At 1:36 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

I was going to make fun of you, and then remembered that I have my own share of food-related phobias.
Milk on cereal and syrup on pancakes comes to mind.

But latex gloves for popcorn? Dude, I'm biting my tongue hardcore over here.

 
At 2:50 PM , Blogger Br. Jonathan said...

Yeah, JP, latex gloves. I keep a big box of them in the kitchen. Popcorn comes out of the microwave -- THWACK! I'm suited up and ready.

BTW - what DO you put on your cereal?

 
At 4:44 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Rarely eat it anymore, especially now with the braces. But as a kid? I ate it dry. Milk on the side, in a cup.

I know. Crazy.

 
At 12:54 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

I LOVE that picture!! :)

Love,

MHP :)

 
At 2:46 AM , Blogger Iwanski said...

Yeah, now I'm self-conscious about the fact that I ate THREE mini egg rolls at Singha.

Of course, you were the one who introduced us to Ethiopian cuisine, which is ALL HANDS.

 
At 2:50 PM , Blogger Br. Jonathan said...

Iwanski: I know. I almost left the restaurant during the egg roll fiasco.

 
At 3:33 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

After living in the same house as your mother while she was making a cake, of all thing, you were probably too afraid to ask for a fork or the make any other food comment. I think that was the first and last cake made for you because childhood trauma may cause lasting results. I'm talking about in me, not you. Ma

 
At 12:20 PM , Blogger Kimberly Ann said...

My hubby can't eat any food that is on a bone, or he saw once on a bone - thanksgiving is a particular challenge. Food quirkiness is the latest fad, apparently.

 

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