Assistance Ponies

When I was out in Seattle with Lorraine and her family, I was telling them about “assistance ponies” and “emotional support animals.”

Assistance ponies (guide horses) are the newest thing in helping people with disabilities. First of all, horses have a natural guiding instinct. It was noticed in a wild herd that if one horse goes blind, another one in the herd will naturally take the role of guiding it.

Also, assistance ponies live to be about 40 years old; much longer than a dog. They also have a broader field of vision. And yes, they can be house-trained. Whenever they need to go outside, they go to the door and whinny.

You just need a bigger plastic bag to carry along than with a dog.

And, at only 22 inches tall and weighing about fifty pounds, they’re damn cute.

I could definitely use an assistance pony:

“Now, where the hell did I put that remote?”

. . . clip clop, clip clop, clip clop. . .

“Hey, thanks, Trigger! Such a good pony!”

You can take them shopping.

Or on the subway.
Or even on a plane trip.

I can just see it, calling the flight attendant:

Bing-bong!

"Yes, I'll have a gin-and-tonic and a handful of oats, please."

Emotional Support Animals:

Some people require the accompaniment of an Emotional Support Animal. Most often, it’s for psychiatric conditions such as agoraphobia or post-traumatic stress disorder. If a person requires an Emotional Support Animal to accompany them, say, on a plane trip, then they are required to show documentation from a mental health professional that the animal is needed.

It’s not always dogs or cats. There have been cases of people having ferrets, monkeys and even snakes.

Yes, Emotional Support Snakes.

(I know, I know . . . Snakes on a Plane. . . that was my first thought, too)

When I mentioned that to Lorraine, she said, “If someone was on my flight with an Emotional Support Snake, I’d definitely require an Emotional Support Mongoose!”

She is so funny and witty like that.

I don’t know how one would accommodate a dog on a 16-hour flight, though. Unless Fido could relieve himself in one of those little-bitty bathrooms, he’d have to stay home.

There’s always a catch.