Tuesday, November 06, 2007

East St. Louis, Mt. Vernon, Mattoon (Illinois)

Last night, I had a bit of trouble negotiating my way around St. Louis (Missouri) to get to my hotel in East St. Louis (which is in Illinois).

I’ve driven through St. Louis several times before in years past and remembered that the freeways there are awfully confusing. So, I made my way around the north loop of St. Louis to avoid those confusing freeways. Then, as I was coming toward East St. Louis (which is in Illinois) and not finding any hotels, I ended up crossing back into St. Louis and right-smack-dab in the middle of all the confusing freeways.

After making some figure-eights around the base of the Gateway Arch and almost heading toward Memphis, I made it back out to East St. Louis (which is in Illinois, remember?)

And that’s why I was so tired last night, but I didn’t tell you that.

So, after a good night’s rest and an invigorating shower with my little-bitty soaps and little-bitty shampoos, I located the office where I needed to go in East St. Louis (which is in Illinois). We had a very productive meeting and all went well.

Here is a very unattractive photo of the Gateway Arch, but that’s as close as I wanted to get to it.
Then, I headed to Mt. Vernon, Illinois, which is sort of in the southern part. I even got there early and had lunch at (you guessed it) Denny’s and shopped at Wal-Mart.

Living in downtown Chicago, I never get to shop at Wal-Mart. I bought some blue towels, a laminated map of Illinois, and some boxer-brief underpants, all at Everyday Low Prices.

After that appointment, I headed upstate a bit for my next appointment which is tomorrow morning in Mattoon, Illinois.

Along the way, I passed by this giant white cross. I swear, this thing must be over two-hundred feet tall. There’s no sign around there advertising anything. It’s just this giant white cross. See how big it is compared to the Denny's billboard? I think if Jesus saw this thing, he'd raise an eyebrow and say, "Well . . . it's a bit overstated."

I'll bet that the guy who erected this thing must have had a very small penis. I’m now at the luxurious Super 8 Motel in the metropolis of Mattoon. Here is the view outside my window: A winterized soybean field. Isn’t that exciting? That’s pretty much the entire view of Illinois from south to north; 350 miles of plowed up, dormant corn and soybean fields. Doesn’t that just make you want to rush out and drive across Illinois this very instant?

Tomorrow, I drive back to Chicago, work in the office on Thursday, and then drive out to Rockford, Illinois on Friday morning for my last appointment.

Then, I get to have lunch with City Mouse!! Won’t that be exciting? (It really will be).

Then, I have tickets to see Stephen Lynch on Friday night with my wonderful, crazy friend, Marilyn. We used to work together many years ago and she has an incredible sense of humor.

So, an evening with Marilyn and Stephen Lynch will make for a much-needed antidote from an incredibly busy work week.

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At 12:55 AM , Blogger Lorraine said...

I find myself wondering how in the world a superfantastic place like Chicago sprouted up amid all that incredibly boring crap. Seriously.

Mouse lunch! Mouse lunch! Yay!

At 11:08 AM , Anonymous Bro said...

The big cross is just outside of Effingham. You drove the route I take when we go to Charlotte, MI. to pick up or drop off Michella's Mom. We often stay at either Effingham or Mt. Vernon along the way.

BTW, you can go up inside the Big White Cross. They have viewing ports on each end. It looks really cool all lit up at night too.

At 11:18 AM , Blogger Kimberly Ann said...

Nothing says autumn like the bold, brilliant colors of dormant soybean fields.

At 12:08 PM , Blogger sfoofie said...

boooo-ring. I'm so bored and i'm not even the one on the trip!
hee hee. just kidding.
I don't have a walmart close enough to me either. It's a special trip if we get to go to one. why the laminated map? so you can take more boring IL road trips? *yawns*

At 2:32 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Never buy underpants at Walmart.

And do not ask me how I know that.

At 2:51 PM , Blogger Lorraine said...

Never buy anything at Walmart.

At 6:53 PM , Blogger Iwanski said...

I'd like to walk into Wal-Mart and lay a big Cleveland Steamer in the middle of the floor.

At 4:04 PM , Blogger Buck said...

Lorraine: I think the lake had something to do with it. Or the Cubs.

Bro: Wow, you know all about this big cross, all the way down there in Texas.

KA: Now is not the time to tour Illinois, believe me.

Sfoofie: Yes, I have to make this trip every three months. The next time will be in the snow!

JP: I really want to know what you know about underpants at Wal-Mart. (I'm wearing them right now, by the way)

Iwanski: I've no idea what a Cleveland Steamer is, but I'm sure I'll find out.


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