Traveling

I’m going to be traveling a lot soon.

First, I’m going down to South Texas to visit my family and friends during the first week of September. Miss Healthypants will pick up my mail while I’m away. I would ask her to water the big plant that I bought recently, but I’ve already killed it. If there were a Plant Protection Service, they would have already taken my plant away and placed it in foster-care.

When I get back, I have to spend a week visiting all eight of the employees that I supervise who are in various locations across the State of Illinois. I need to make sure they’re doing what they’re supposed to be doing and haven’t blown up anything.
It’ll involve about two-thousand miles of driving and overnight stays in exciting places like Peoria and Springfield. I hear that you gotta be careful in that wild town of Peoria. It’ll just eat you up and spit you out if you’re not careful.

Then, the last week of September, my boss and I are going to a conference for four days in Orlando. Of all the places I’d want to visit in the U.S., I think Orlando would be last on the list. Dead last. I don’t like tourist-y places, I don’t like humidity or anything even remotely tropical. I just made my hotel reservations and let out a groan when I saw that the hotel was located on “Buena Vista Drive.”
God. Buena Vista . . . . how revolting.

I’m just going to stay bunkered in my hotel room, ordering room service. A lot.