Houston, We Have a Problem

I have a love-hate relationship with pop music.

Love it: There were some bands back in the 70s I was absolutely nuts about. Their 8-track tapes took up a lot of space in my ’76 Honda Civic: Emerson, Lake & Palmer, Black Sabbath, and Led Zeppelin come to mind. Nowadays, The Killers and Alanis Morissette take up a lot of memory on my iPod. (Along with Emerson, Lake & Palmer, Black Sabbath, and Led Zeppelin.)

Okay, I'll also admit (sigh) that there's quite a bit of Enya on there too.

Hate it: Performers who lip-synch in concert. Boy-bands and Britney Spears come to mind. Yes, they do a lot of highly-energized choreography and, yes, it’s difficult to sing while doing that. But if you can’t sing while leaping about on stage, then don’t. Do your jumping around, then sing, but please don’t pretend you’re doing both. It’s a counterfeit performance.

Hate it: Rap and Hip-Hop “music”. I guess if you're angry, addicted to tattoos and have no ability to sing at all, then you become a Rap or Hip-Hop performer like Eminem or that Ice-Tray fellow.

Hate it: Whitney Houston: Yes, she had a nice voice (back in the 80s) but no better than thousands of other gospel choir singers. In my opinion, her biggest hit, The Greatest Love of All, was absolutely the worst song ever written. Ever. Don’t believe me?

Let's take a look at the lyrics.

I believe the children are our future
Teach them well and let them lead the way
Show them all the beauty they possess inside
Give them a sense of pride to make it easier
Let the children's laughter remind us how we used to be.

(A song about children. That’s nice.)
All of a sudden, it changes to:

Everybody's searching for a hero
People need someone to look up to
I never found anyone who fulfilled my needs
A lonely place to be
And so I learned to depend on me

(What? A complete change of subject. Now it's about society and herself. I guess she ran out of stuff to say about the children.)

I decided long ago, never to walk in anyone's shadows
If I fail, if I succeed at least I live as I believe
No matter what they take from me
They can't take away my dignity
Because the greatest love of all is happening to me
I found the greatest love of all inside of me
The greatest love of all is easy to achieve
Learning to love yourself, it is the greatest love of all

(Okay, now it’s a song for narcissistic losers to sing and feel better about themselves.)

So, there we have a mish-mash of themes with the opening bit about the children having nothing to do with the rest of the song. And what does the rest of the song entail? You just repeat the whole thing one more time, and end it.

Horrible, dreadful song-writing.

And poor Whitney. Yes, she’s had her years of drug addiction. Many of us have. Maybe she’s trying to make a come-back, but Whitney, bless her heart, has obviously passed up a few too many stopping points in her career. Here’s a recent performance as she crucifies Dolly Parton’s I Will Always Love You.

Brace yourself:



Umm, Houston. . . we have a problem. Frankly, she should have been encircled with crime-scene tape.
If Dolly Parton wasn’t the classy lady that she is, I’ll bet Whitney would be sued for millions.

Whitney, dear. A word of advice: If you're going to pass up this stopping point in your career, you might consider becoming a Rap performer.

De-Gerbilized -- Day One

Day One of Not Being a Gerbil: Success!

Yesterday, I wrote that I’ve been in a slump lately – of coming home from work, crawling under a blanket like a gerbil and doing nothing but watching TV. So, I’ve decided to go an entire week with no television which would, hopefully, entice me into more productive endeavors.

It has. I loved it.

Last night, I came home from work, downloaded some really cool music onto my iPod and really enjoyed twenty minutes on the treadmill. As a matter of fact, I was rockin’ out so well to my groovy music that I didn’t want to stop, so I did another 20 minutes – 40 minutes total.

One song that was totally kick-ass was Alanis Morissette’s You Oughta Know. Wow – I wanted to leap off the treadmill and just dance when I heard that.

I had sort of an aversion to Alanis Morissette after having lived in Toronto. Canadians seem to go way overboard with any of their celebrities (probably because there are so few of them – Canadians, that is.) I got so tired of hearing Morissette blaring non-stop out of every night club on Yonge Street, so I guess it took about ten years to get de-Alanisized enough to enjoy her stuff.

I also have Somebody Told Me and Jenny Was a Friend of Mine by The Killers on my exercise playlist. Really groovy stuff! Has anyone else been tipped off on how great this music is or am I the only that knows about it?

After my workout, I made a tofu curry with barley-lentil pilaf for dinner, worked on choir music for an hour, talked to Miss Healthypants, and cleaned the kitchen.

Yesterday, I mentioned that not watching TV would free me up to do a lot of other things, like going to an art museum or a zoo.

Well, a friend of mine called last night to say he had an extra ticket to the Chicago Symphony and would I want to go? (The Brahms 1st Piano Concerto is being featured.)

Isn’t that better than watching stupid people being held accountable by Judge Judy?

And you have to admit, that’s pretty auspicious. 'The Universe' picked up on the fact that I wanted to heighten the level of my leisure activities and, boom, I get a free ticket to the Chicago Symphony.

And after exercising for 40 minutes last night, I have to admit –
I really feel like crap today.

Twenty-Five Things

Lorraine, bless her heart, tagged me to write 25 things about myself. I’ll try to think of things I’ve not posted on here yet.

1. I’m not fond of chocolate.
2. I love downhill skiing and want to take Lorraine because she's never been skiing before.
3. Bourbon and rum make me gag.
4. I cannot do two things at once
5. A well-known celebrity made a pass at me when I was 22.
6. I have an inordinate interest in area codes
7. My personal value is directly related to the number of people that read my blog
8. I still don’t have gray hair
9. I don’t color my hair
10. My parents were married 50 years + 8 months ago
11. I’ll be turning 50 next month. You do the math.
12. I will never get a tattoo
13. I hate boating
14. I was once walking across a moor in England and saw a white horse running through the mist.
15. I've always had a fear of leaving a pen or pencil pointing to the left
16. I have to see a map – I absolutely cannot follow verbal directions
17. I love music by The Killers
18. I’ve read five biographies about Janis Joplin
19. A close friend of mine recently proposed to Anderson Cooper
20. I have incredibly nice-looking legs
21. I don’t own any shorts
22. I was once employed as a telephone operator
23. I have a thing for prime numbers, so I’m stopping at number 23.

If you've read this, consider yourself "tagged".

Feelin' Groovy

At the gym where I’ve been faithfully working out, (periodically) there’s always rather loud music playing over the sound system. I don’t mind it so much, for it’s usually a good mix of anything that’s energetic sounding. Disco, techno-pop, lots of Madonna, lots of rap; they all get played.

The thing is, even though I’m a musician myself, I very rarely listen to music. I’ve got a small sound system in my apartment and probably not over 30 CDs which seldom, if ever, get played. I don’t listen to the radio in the car except for NPR.

So, the music that Crunch Fitness plays over their sound system is the only pop music I’ve been exposed to since. . . . hmmm. . . . well, Culture Club, really.

Yes, my name is Buck and I’m a snob, especially when it comes to music.

So, I didn’t think I’d ever find anything remotely appealing while being exposed to anything at Crunch, but I was surprised recently.

I was doing a solid thirty minutes of jogging on the treadmill the other night when this song came on. (The corresponding video plays on the screen on the treadmill which is pretty cool). I thought, “Hey, that song’s pretty neat.”

Then, last night I was on the treadmill when it came on again. This time, I really liked it. When I returned to my apartment, I downloaded it onto my iPod.

I’m not making this up when I way that the last pop music I ever bought was Culture Club’s Colour By Numbers album. So, it was pretty remarkable that I found myself to be pretty jazzed over a new pop group.

I feel so “with it.”

The song, you ask?

It’s Somebody Told Me by The Killers. The lead singer sounds a lot like a young Ozzy Osbourne.
Click here for the video.

Like I said, I feel pretty hip and all, downloading a song that was produced after 1983. I feel pretty cool blogging about it, too.

Am I hip, or what?

Oh, god.

I just had a horrible thought. . . . Please please please don’t let this song be something that only 13 year-old girls like. That would be just my luck.

Whatever. I don’t care.

I think Somebody Told Me is pretty darn groovy.