The Employee Potluck

We just had a “potluck” lunch at work. They’re fun, but certainly not the most healthy way to go.

I’ve noticed two things that always happen at these workplace potlucks:

1. There are way too many desserts

2. Staff members bring casseroles that need to be heated up in the tiny break-room microwave. They each take 40 minutes to heat up, thus causing casseroles to be stacked up like airliners in a holding pattern over O’Hare.

Arrivals are, thus, full of tension and never on time.

Today, I brought chipotle potato salad. Against my better judgement, it was a Rachel Ray recipe; and although her creations sound good, they’re all . . .well . . . careless and tasteless slop.

I didn’t get any compliments and so, for all intents and purposes, the employee potluck was a HUGE failure as far as I’m concerned. It’s all Rachel Ray’s fault, of course.

I think one person forgot it was potluck day – and they brought two sacks of White Castle burgers. How freaking lazy can you get?

Anyway, here’s what I had for lunch at the potluck:

2 White Castle burgers (I LOVE White Castle burgers)
Mac & Cheese
Chips & salsa
3 slices of fancy cheese
1 pot sticker (again, confirming the fact that I don’t like pot stickers)
Carrot sticks & hummus
Handful of Puppy Chow

I’ve never had Puppy Chow before but it’s terrific stuff. It would be a big hit at any holiday gathering, especially with the little ones.

I’m going to see if there are anymore White Castles left. . . .

Cooking

I’ve mentioned this before, but I really enjoy watching cooking shows. A lot. I watch them the way some guys watch football games.

“No!!! That’s not a half cup of wine! You IDIOT!!”

So, here is my review of some of the more popular cooking shows that are on these days.

Secrets of a Restaurant Chef (Anne Burrell)
This is a new favorite of mine. Watching her deft and quick movements, you can tell that this woman has spent a lot of time in professional kitchens and has paid her dues. She also does this cute growly voice that’s pretty entertaining. It’s also really amazing to see the incredible amount of salt she uses. Apparently, that’s her secret.

Down Home with the Neely’s
Too folksy for me. Also, I’m not fond of any cooking show where there’s more than one person cooking because then it becomes more about them rather than the food. Here’s an example of their banter:
Oooo! Gimme some sugar!
Mmm-hmmm
Mmm-hmmm!
I hear that!
Mmm-hmmm
Mmm-hmmm . . .

Throwdown with Bobby Flay
That guy is just way too arrogant and full of himself.

America’s Test Kitchen
They test a recipe dozens of times to find the absolute best way to prepare it. I’ve learned a lot from this show. Their marinara sauce is to die for. But sometimes they go over the top with preparation methods. Like I’m ever going to make an entire charcoal fire just to grill a fish fillet for two minutes. Rub a lamp.

30 Minute Meals (Rachel Ray)
Thirty minutes of slop-and-glop. And shamelessly promoting her goofy orange cookware.

Everyday Italian (Giada de Laurentiis)
It’s all about the cleavage with this woman. That’s fine if you’re into that sort of thing but her dainty moves make it all too apparent that she really hasn’t spent much time getting greasy in a kitchen.

Paula’s Home Cooking (Paula Deen)
What’s not to like about Paula? The woman also keeps it “real” by shamelessly using everyday ingredients that normal folks really use. Canned mushroom soup and mayonnaise often make their appearances. I’m waiting for her to make duck al orange using Tang Instant Breakfast Drink.
And is her son, Bobby, like, EVER going to come out of the closet?

At Home with Jaime Oliver
He’s a little hyper-active but the boy can definitely slam some tasty food. I want to make everything he does.

Nigella Feasts (Nigella Lawson)
Wow. What more can I say about my Nigella? She says up front that she’s not a cook but, oh my goodness, all her recipes are sooooo tasty appealing. The only cookbooks I own are hers and Julia Child’s.
What more would anyone need?

Vote!

Hey, look!

I just added a poll-thingie to my sidebar thingie.

I'm so surprised it worked. I can mess up a website with HTML pretty quickly.

Regarding Rosie O'Donnell leaving "The View," frankly, I don't think she's really appropriate for that program. While I wholly support her views, I think the spat with Donald Trump was a sad display of two adults acting like five-year-olds.

Frankly, I'd love to see Whoopi Goldberg slip in to fill the vacancy. She's funny, articulate, and can voice her political opinions with humor and a clever wit that I love so well.

While a lot of the gays like Kathy Griffin, I think she's pretty pathetic in that her entire schtick relies on the slamming of other celebs. What's worse is that when the tables are turned, she's the first one to bang on her high chair.

So? Who would you vote for? Take the poll and let's see how it goes. If you have any other ideas for polls, just let me know.