At Home Depot

Yesterday, I had to go to one of my most un-favorite establishments:

Home Depot

That place is huge, loud, and I never can find what I’m looking for. Mainly that’s because I know zilch about home repairs so I never really know what it is I should be looking for.

Also, I don’t like the color orange and there seems to be a prevalence of that.

At least the Home Depot employees are helpful – I will give them that.

So, I had to go there because my pantry is missing three shelves. The thing is, my pantry is sort of wedge shaped which meant that I needed three wedge-shaped pieces of plywood cut. Even though I wrote down the measurements, I brought along a shelf as a template, just so the Depot person could see what I was talking about.

The moment I showed it to him, he scrunched his face and said, “Our machine can’t cut that.”

Apparently, Home Depot only deals with equilateral pieces of wood that have 90 degree angles.

But like I said, the Home Depot staff is very helpful so he offered the following alternative.

“You could rent a circular saw and cut it yourself,” he chirped.

The moment he said that, I scrunched my face. Apparently, he wasn’t too keen on me retaining any of my fingers. I wanted to smother the guy with his orange apron.

(My dad, who happens to be an excellent carpenter, is probably laughing as he reads this and the idea of me renting a circular saw.)

I just asked the guy to cut the wood to the shortest side – it’s only an inch difference. I nailed the shelf in and it worked fine.

Renting a circular saw . . . .

. . . rub a lamp, buddy.