Tuesday, April 17, 2007

My Phobia

I’ll admit it. I have a phobia.

Some people are deathly afraid of heights, some can’t handle being near a snake while others freak out if there’s a spider close by. I recall a documentary about a woman who was horribly afraid of feathers. During a session with her psychologist, he slowly presented a small feather from his desk drawer. The poor woman climbed up on the sofa and began crying uncontrollably. The poor dear.

Not me. I’ve climbed atop a 150 foot tall roller coaster, let a tarantula crawl on me and even held a python (but I didn’t like it).

I used to go skiing every year in Colorado with a friend of mine. Keystone, Crested Butte, etc. One time, he suggested that we try going to Montana instead and I told him I really didn’t want to go there.

“But the skiing in Montana is great,” he said. “It’s a lot less crowded than the resorts in Colorado.”

“I can’t go skiing in Montana,” said I.

“You can’t? Why not? What’s wrong with Montana?”

“Because that’s where Bigfoot has been sighted lots of times.”

He was a little incredulous when I told him I was serious; that I just wouldn’t be comfortable out in the wilderness of Montana. Because of Bigfoot.

Yes, I know it’s irrational. That’s what makes it a phobia. I know, scientifically, that Bigfoot can’t really exist up there. I know there’s no hard evidence of its existence. No bones.
No hair.
No Bigfoot poo.

And regarding the famous 1967 Patterson film, my gosh, even I will admit that’s a guy in a furry suit, though it still gives me the willies. Anyone watching that film knows that Bigfoot doesn’t walk like that.

Regarding my phobia, I suppose it all began when I was about fourteen years old. There had been reports of a Bigfoot-like creature sighted in the vicinity of my family’s ranch in Texas. Then one night, my cousin who’s the same age as I, was driving back to the ranch house. (Yes, we drive at the age of fourteen on ranch roads in Texas. It’s the law). He saw some eyes reflecting in the headlights down the road and, lo and behold, it was a Bigfoot.

When he got back to the house, he was really shaken up. My aunt will attest to the fact that saw something that really frightened him. From then on, he wouldn’t go hunting at night as he had done for years.

Well, that just scared the hell out of me. I just knew that there was a Bigfoot-like creature lurking around down there.

My dad had a pecan orchard near the spot where my cousin saw The Creature. One afternoon, Dad had us gathering pecans for a couple of hours and I just knew that thing was watching me from inside the woods the whole time.
God, that was scary.

Yes, I know there’s no evidence that it exists.

But you won’t find me spending the night down on our ranch. And if I ever visit Lorraine in Seattle, I’m not leaving the city limits to go hiking anywhere.

And I never did go skiing in Montana.

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At 1:14 PM , Blogger Lorraine said...

You will visit Lorraine in Seattle and I promise I won't even take you to the big park near our house where there's nothing but parrots and racoons. Promise. We'll stay inside and eat.

At 3:08 PM , Blogger Jon said...

I am bathed with relief.

At 11:14 AM , Blogger Bunny Lynn Boofay said...

Is the 'Sasquash' an Bigfoot the same monkey? Or is they just coussins' like Magilla Gorilla an King Kong.


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