Sunday, March 12, 2006

Nicole Richie to Undergo Hand Reduction Surgery

West Hollywood Having grown increasingly displeased with the over-sized appearance of her hands, television star Nicole Richie has enlisted a team of reconstructive surgeons and orthopedic specialists in order to undergo a rare hand-reduction procedure.

"I just can't stand the sight of my hands!" reports Richie. "They're so gross and just seem to be growing bigger every day and I've got to protect my career."

Although her orthopedic specialist, Dr. Michael Scott, has seen no evidence of her hands actually growing larger, he concurs with Richie’s wishes to undergo this radical procedure.

"Ms. Richie’s hands certainly do appear disproportionately large for her frame. I'm completely at a loss as to why her hands seem to be growing larger. However, knowing the physical demands that her profession places on her, I wholeheartedly support her endeavor to reduce the size and appearance of her hands."

Richie’s team of reconstructive surgeons has expressed their concerns regarding this radical procedure. Dr. Louis Reinstein, head of the surgical team explains: "Reduction of the hands is an extremely exhausting and risky procedure. It requires removing sections of all ten metacarpi and at least sixteen phalanges, extensive bone grafting, and hours of nerve and tendon reconstructions."

Dr. Reinstein continues. "We've cautioned Ms. Richie regarding what will inevitably be an overwhelming recovery period, not to mention the excruciating pain that will surely follow. However, she's adamant about reducing the size of her hands. I have many patients who are employed in the entertainment industry and while I've advised them against such procedures, I have to admire Ms. Richie’s dedication to her profession.


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