Tuesday, July 28, 2009

A Grand Slam Idea

Have you heard about the guy in New Jersey who is suing Denny’s over the amount of salt they put in their food?

Okay, this guy in New Jersey is suing Denny’s over the amount of salt they put in their food.

He’s 48 years old, has high blood pressure and is a regular patron of Denny’s. He favors the Moons Over My Hammy breakfast and was absolutely shocked and appalled to learn that it basically contains more salt than the entire state of Utah.

He said he wouldn’t have ordered it if he had known it was so bad for him.

Now, it just seems to me that if you have high blood pressure, you shouldn’t be selecting menu items that contain the word “ham” in any form. Or any meat in the SALT-CURED category.


After further reading, I was also pretty amazed to learn how much sodium Denny’s uses in their food. For example, two pancakes contain half the recommended amount that you should be eating in an entire day.

That’s right. Two pancakes.

If you eat a turkey melt with seasoned fries and a bowl of their clam chowder, you’ve eaten five days worth of sodium allotment right there.

But still, I think this fellow has a lot of gall to be shocked over the amount of sodium contained in his SALT-CURED meat-based breakfast.

He thinks Denny’s should list the amount of sodium contained in each menu item.

But how effective would it really be to say “contains 3,500 milligrams of sodium” in fine print under the turkey melt? After all, Americans can’t do the metric system whatsoever. They might think that’s a good thing.

Perhaps they should just write in big purple print across the photos on the menu:
“This sandwich will kill you”

I have a better idea. I think Denny’s should add an extra tax to each item according to how bad it is for you.

Oatmeal and a fruit cup?
No tax.

A Super-Slam Meat Lover’s Breakfast?
An extra five dollars tax. Maybe ten.

That would send a pretty clear message.

Then, all this tax revenue could fund a national, universal healthcare plan.

After all, if you’re middle aged, have high blood pressure and order a breakfast centered around SALT-CURED meat, you’ll be chipping in to the national healthcare plan more than the oatmeal-and-fruit-cup people.

I would be in favor of that and, yes, I’ve been known to grand-slam a Denny’s breakfast or two in my time.

I should be president.



At 10:27 PM , Blogger Miss Healthypants said...

This is just an awesome freakin' idea!! *smiles*

At 2:56 AM , Blogger Speck said...

Can I get those pancakes with a double side of bacon??? I needs me some cholesterol.

I could cut all that stuff out of my diet and increase my life expectancy by three years....years spent drooling in a nursing home peeing in my Depends.

Make that a Super-Slam Meat Lovers with a double side of bacon.

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