Groceries

A consumer report survey of customers’ favorite and least favorite grocery stores was just published and the two grocery stores where I shop were on the top five and bottom five lists.

I wholly concur with the findings. 

Trader Joe’s was in the top five; actually, it was second from the top. I love my Trader Joe’s and I’m so fortunate to have one within walking distance. As a matter of fact, it’s a block from the church where I sing, so I hit TJ’s twice a week. 

The staff are ever so friendly. You can just tell that every employee is happy to be there and it shows. Also, there are plenty of staff on hand. If you find yourself searching for an item, a chirpy employee will magically appear to help. If check-out lines become the least bit crowded, a bell rings and several workers leap into place behind cash registers and beckon you into their queue. 

And the prices! Oh, you’ll love Trader Joe’s for the prices. Most of the items are their own brand, from the frozen foods to the wine, the prices are remarkably low. Frozen food entrees for $2.49 are common. Their wines are $2.99 a bottle and often score surprisingly high at wine tasting competitions. 

And there’s a whimsical side to Trader Joe’s that I enjoy. Italian food items will be under the name, “Trader Giotto’s”. Mexican will be “Trader Jose’s”. Their brand of Cheerios is “Joey-O’s”. Very cute, indeed. 

My Texan friends and family will soon have TJ’s opening up near them. Stores are already open in Dallas and Houston. One is opening in San Antonio very soon with plans for additional Texan stores to follow.

At the bottom of the survey is Jewel-Osco. I can vouch for that. 

When I need to go to a regular-type of grocery store, there’s a Jewel nearby. It’s crowded, messy, and their produce aisle is often picked clean. It’s not uncommon to find one lonely, bruised banana or just a few squished grapes available. Don’t bother looking for someone to assist. If you want something from the deli, be prepared to send up a flare in order to get their attention. When it’s time to check out, you may find a line so long that there are Cro-Magnons near the front of it.

As I write this, I have to laugh, though. 

Millions of people in Africa would be grateful for a meal of cold yam paste while typical Americans bang on their high chairs when we have to wait more than five minutes to pay for our bounty.

The Banana Lady

Yesterday evening, I was at Trader Joe’s with Miss Healthypants and our dear friend, Liane. We had just finished having dinner at a nearby Mexican restaurant and since Trader Joe’s was close by, we had to go there.

As we were in the produce section, Liane noticed this elderly woman who was spending an inordinate amount of time going through the bananas. There were three boxes of bananas and this woman would pick up a small bunch, examine them, and then place them very neatly in another box.

We stood there for a good while watching her do this. After she had examined all the bananas and neatly arranged them, we thought she’d walk away, but no – she started over again.

Liane wanted to make a banana purchase but this woman was keeping them all very occupied.

Frankly, I wanted to know what would happen if this woman’s banana-routine would be upset.

“I’m going in!” I said to Liane.

So, I stood next to the woman and began tossing bananas from one box to another, clearly upsetting her routine. She would then arrange my tossed-about fruits ever so neatly in another box and I would plop some more bananas directly athwart hers.

It was fun.

Finally, I gave up and Liane got her bananas. As we walked to the registers, the woman was still very occupied with the three boxes of bananas.

I mentioned to the cashier that there was this strange woman who seemed obsessed with the bananas.

“Oh, that’s the banana-lady!” she replied.

It turns out that this banana-lady comes in quite frequently, spends a great deal of time selecting just the “right” bananas, and then sells them on a street corner nearby.

Don’t you just love it?

If I had had my camera with me, I would have taken a video of The Banana Lady in action for you to see.

Now, I’m determined to get a video of her. I plan on going to Trader Joe’s a lot more often just so I can get that video.

The cashiers at Trader Joe’s will probably start referring to me as “The Banana Lady-Obsessed Guy.”

I'm Dangerous at Trader Joe's

I love shopping for groceries at Trader Joe’s, but it can get out of hand.

Like yesterday. The weather had finally warmed up enough to go grocery shopping (i.e. it was slightly above a grillion degrees below zero.)

For those of you who don’t know about Trader Joe’s, let me just tell you that TJ’s is wonderful. They feature lots of their own name-brand, ready-to-eat, high-quality food items.

I sorta went nuts. I’ll put whatever they have on display in my food cart.

OOooo! Flax seed penne pasta for only $1.99! Yay!

I don’t like the shape of penne pasta and what Italian grandma ever made anything from flax seeds, for crying out loud!

OOOooo! Sixteen ounces of chicken piccata sauce for $2.49! Yay!

I don’t like garlicky, lemony sauces. I’m not a fan of capers. Yet, the piccata sauce got plopped into my cart.

OOOooo! 32 oz. bottles of tomato-vegetable juice for $3.99! Yay!

I love tomato juice. Love. It. But the key word is ‘tomato’ juice. I’m not wild about all the other flavors that sometimes adulterate it.

I bought two of them.

Last night, I made chicken piccata with flax-seed penne pasta for dinner.

The pasta had the texture of wet cardboard. I think wet cardboard would have tasted better.

The piccata sauce, . . . well, . . . it stunk!
Really, it just smelled like weird body odor on the subway. (You know that smell I’m talking about).

The tomato-vegetable juice, I swear, tasted like it had aquarium water in it.

I had a Chicago deep dish pizza delivered.

End of story.