A Great Technique!

Yesterday at work, I had to give a report on my program to a group of board members and constituents. It was in a big fancy board room and each of us had to stand at the head of the table and give our report.

I was a little nervous beforehand. These were all CEOs who were wearing way more expensive clothes than mine.

Anyway, right before I got up to give my report I sort of got the giggles. The reason for the giggles was because I thought of the scene from Mommie Dearest where the Joan Crawford character was about to be fired from the board of PepsiCo after her husband died.

She sat at the head of the big board table and screamed, “Don’t f**k with me, fellas!!! This ain’t my first time at the rodeo!!”

I love that scene.

Anyway, I thought of that and my nervousness completely went away.

Today, I had to speak on a teleconference to representatives from all 50 states and I thought of that scene from Mommie Dearest. It worked like a charm!

I’m sure you’ve heard the technique -- that if you’re nervous about speaking in front of a group, just picture them all in their underwear.

Nope – just think of Faye Dunaway playing Joan Crawford in that boardroom scene. It’s a jewel of a technique.

. . . Wow, I can’t believe it - - I found the scene online!

Check it out, and be sure to think of it the next time you have to speak in front of a large group.

Click here

(Warning: Scene contains 'strong language')

Spiderman? The Musical?

I just saw where works are in the making to make a Broadway musical out of “Spiderman.”

Spiderman? the musical?

Isn’t that taking things a bit far? Spidey just doesn’t seem like a musical kinda guy.

I have to admit it. I don’t like musicals.

I know, I know. The fact that I don’t like musicals makes me a disgrace to My People.

And it’s not like I haven’t seen a lot of good musicals. I have. During high school, I saved all my hard-earned Dairy Queen money and paid my way to go on a theatre tour to New York two summers in a row. I’ve seen Grease, Chicago, Pippin, Shenandoah, Annie, and A Chorus Line to name a few.

In college, I was even in a production of Cabaret as a rehersal pianist. Later, I was a singing scarecrow in The Wizard of Oz. (It was a really cute musical number that was cut from the film.) Believe me, I’ve been exposed to musicals.

I love music and I love drama. I just want them separate.

Both genres are good enough that they should be able to stand alone, on their own. I love going to the theatre. It just bugs me when there’s a really good dialogue going on and all of a sudden, they break out into song. Ugh! Who does this?

Certainly not a scarecrow.

By the way, I also eat things separately, even when I was a kid. Macaroni & cheese first, then the peas, then the fish sticks, one at a time. And now: Enchiladas, then the rice then the beans.

Since they’re making a musical out of Spiderman, I think, just for fun, I’ll write a musical. It’ll be “Mommie Dearest” set to music. I think I’ll call it Christina! It will be the gayest musical ever.

Here’s an excerpt from “The Lullaby” from Christina!

Hush, little girl, Tina darling, don’t cry;
Tonight Mommie’s here to sing you a soft lullaby;
Dear Christina, my perfect daughter I adore;
Why can't it all be like it was before?. . .

Because you're a spoiled brat who acts like a whore
And when you leave coat hangers all over the floor
It makes Mommie drink, so don't you dare fuss
Because that's why your daddy left us. . .


Hey! I think I'm on to something here!