The Subway

Riding the subway can often be an adventurous undertaking, especially during rush hour. Whenever you get that many people crammed into an underground railway vehicle, you’ll have plenty of opportunity to observe all that human behavior has to offer.

If I know I’ll be traveling a considerable distance, it’s always nice to find a seat. Pregnant women are pretty much the only people for whom I’ll relinquish it. Besides, I was recently diagnosed with plantar fasciitis, am now eligible for AARP, and receive regular mailings from The Scooter Store. I deserve a seat. Any vestiges of Southern politeness are long gone.

When I do have to stand on the subway, I’ve learned to adopt a three-point stance. That is, the point at which I’m holding onto the pole in relation to the points where my feet are on the floor forms an equilateral triangle. That way, whether the subway lurches forward or back or side-to-side, I’m always stable.

Then again, some people choose to adopt a different means of stabilization while riding the train.

Which brings me to my other principle of riding public transport:

I always wash my hands after riding the subway.