It's a Strange World

How does that saying go? Something about truth being stranger than fiction?

I swear, I’m not making this up.

Apparently, a 29-year-old Michigan resident was sentenced to 90 days in jail for committing a sex act with a car wash vacuum cleaner.

Here's the article.

As part of his sentence, he must submit to drug testing.

A relative of his said, “He needs psychological help.”

Gee, ya think?

About ten years ago, I completed a couple of internships as a substance abuse counselor in a residential treatment center. Believe me, every time I thought I’d heard everything regarding human sexual behavior, someone would always manage to surprise me.

I had never come across anyone who was into vacuum cleaners, though. I don’t think it’s listed in the DSM-IV.

When I hear about these things, I just want to say to the person, “Dude, what did you parents do to you?”

I can just see this fellow’s personal ad on Chemistry.com:

29 year old white male. Likes sports, candlelight dinners and long walks on a moonlit beach with a Dyson hand-held. Seeks soulmate to share laughter, good times, and a complete assortment of Dirt Devil attachments. . . .

I can also see it now. The right-wing evangelicals will probably be saying something like, “See what happens when you allow same-sex marriage? First this, then somebody will want to marry their vacuum cleaner!”

Anyhoover, the vacuum cleaner assault took place back in October. At least it was during the Bush administration, otherwise, Sean Hannity would be blaming the whole thing on Obama.

My thoughts?

I just hope the vacuum cleaner is getting counseling.