The Military Guys

Why are these military guys always standing around the president as he comes and goes?

They don’t ever do anything except salute him. They’re definitely not there for protection. If they were, they wouldn’t be so rigid all the time. It’s the secret service guys that do the all the actual protecting anyway.
So, why are they there?

And why do they all look the same?

Take a look at the four of them in these photos. They look like identical quadruplets. Does the military take note of this upon their enlistment and say, “Hey, you definitely have that stern-military-face-while-the-president-boards-the-helicopter look that we need. Now go stand by that helicopter.”

And why don’t they ever smile? Does the task-at-hand actually require such severity? Like I said, they don’t actually do anything, so I think a smile might be more pleasant to be around.

And why are they always men? I’ve never seen a woman function in this role. A little diversity might be in order, I’d think.

Bottom line: I don’t know why we need them around.


Actually, it’s pretty pathetic that any nation needs a military at all when you think about it. After all, killing is intrinsically evil. Anything to do with the military should be kept tucked away out of sight as a necessary evil – Not used as a decoration for our official’s comings-and-goings. Sheesh!
If I were president, I’d do away with these fellows. Or at least I’d have male-female ones and have them give me a smile rather than a military salute.

And, an Aretha Franklin hat might lighten things up a bit as well.

Do I have your vote?