My Saturday

I can’t think of anything to write about today.

So, when that happens, I always turn to food.

This weekend, I had some time to kill and was near a Starbuck’s and a Whole Foods Market. I wandered into Whole Foods and stocked up on some spices I needed. Two of my favorites are nutmeg and tarragon and I needed both.

Although Whole Foods is terribly overpriced, buying herbs and spices there is the way to go as they’re sold in bulk.

I bought four nutmegs and a little bag of tarragon. I scritch-scritch the nutmeg into my soymilk-protein smoothies, and New England clam chowder is always a good conduit for tarragon.

There were free samples of cheese there, which I always nibble on.

Holy Mother of God, I found the holy grail of cheeses. It’s “English Seaside Cheddar”. It’s buttery, nutty, not too salty and almost sweet. Plus, it has a really unique texture; there are little crunchy bits of calcium in it. I know that sounds strange but it works.

I bought a pound of it. Then, I went to Starbuck’s for a Venti half-caf and came back across the parking lot to Whole Foods and bought another pound of it.

Then, I had a nice appointment with My Shrink who made me cry a little bit and thinks I should do stand-up comedy.

I was out to dinner with friends and they even asked, “Have you ever considered doing stand-up comedy?”

I replied, “Well, my therapist thinks I should. . . . ”

Then, I went home and ate cheese while watching The Onion Movie. I've never laughed so hard in my life.

Really, there were sounds coming out of me that I've never heard before; sort of like a pterodactyl being squeezed and shaken really hard.

And that was my Saturday.