The Juiceman

I am SO falling in love with Trader Joe’s.

For the longest time, I’ve had a Juiceman juicer that I used occasionally. I love fresh vegetable and fruit juice and I know it’s good for me. It’s just that it takes so much time, effort and expense to eek out a glass of juice.

My favorite combo was carrot-apple-beet-parsley juice. I know that sounds horrible, but it isn’t. The thing is, you’ve got to actually BUY fresh carrots, apples, beets and parsley, and (here’s the hard part) actually have them all on hand at the same time.

That’s hard to do. My vegetable bin is actually the Place Where Vegetables Go To Die. I have all these good intentions of eating fresh fruits and vegetables when I’m at the grocery store. But, that’s usually as far as it goes.

The other day, I smelled something “not quite right” inside my fridge for a couple of days. It got worse. Finally, the culprit was located. It was a purple cabbage in the vegetable bin that was turning into a puddle of cruciferous goo.

I don’t even remember buying a purple cabbage.

Have you seen that infomercial featuring the Juiceman guy? He’s this extremely enthusiastic guy of about ninety years old but has the looks of a 45 year old, the result from drinking gallons of fresh juice every day.

I have to tell you, his produce bill must be astronomical. You drop a carrot into the Juiceman and BZZZZZT! Out dribbles a teaspoon of carrot juice and ten pounds of carrot pulp go shooting out the back. (I forget to attach the pulp-catcher sometimes). Then, you have to take the thing apart and clean everything. Vegetable pulp is everywhere. Beet juice stains everything. Hardly worth the effort.

So, that brings me back to dear Trader Joe’s. They have a whole section of juices in half-gallon containers at very low prices. I recently picked up their super-food green juice that contains apple juice, mango puree, peach puree, pineapple juice, spirulina, wheat grass juice, and even a touch of broccoli juice. It’s great. And pretty, too.

A whole half gallon is only $4.29. I also got a half gallon of blackberry-apple juice for the same price.

The stupid Juiceman went down the trash chute. It made a lot of racket, falling down forty-nine stories, but it felt good.


I just love to throw useless electrical appliances down the trash chute.