Super Bowl

As a Chicagoan, I have mixed feelings about the outcome of the Super Bowl.

First of all, I didn't watch it because I think football is stupid. You have a bunch of big guys smashing into each other. Then for the next five minutes, they plan on how they're going to smash into each other again.

One one hand, I'm glad the Bears didn't win because then you'd have millions of Chicagoans screaming "We won! We won!" and I'd be screaming, "No, You had absolutely nothing to do with it!" (As a matter of fact, Chicago has nothing to do with it either).

And then they'd beat me up.

On the other hand, I don't like the fact that the Colts won because of Peyton Manning. He's blond, tall, athletic, and a great-looking guy.

Blond, tall, athletic, great-looking guys get idolized way too much in this society. Now that he's got a Super Bowl ring, there'll be no stopping it.

All because he tells other guys to smash into each other.