Fifty-Three Things

Okay, once again, I've been feeling that this site isn't about ME enough.
Narcissitic personality disorder? No.
Just a little bored and too lazy to schlepp down to Starbucks.
And even numbers really bug me.
(Afterwards, I'd really like for each of you to tell me seven things about yourself.)

1. I have an uncanny ability to memorize numbers.
2. I have an uncanny disability to remember names.
3. My favorite snack is frozen grapes.
4. I have a real phobia of Bigfoot.
5. I've completed 69 hours of graduate school. No graduate degree.
6. I was a monk for three years and studied for the Priesthood for four.
7. Seven years celibate. Dang.
8. I had three stitches in my lip when I was five without anasthesia.
9. I was the tallest guy in my graduating class.
10. I can milk a cow. It takes a really long time.
11. I still have most of my hair
12. I totally suck at bowling.
13. Class of 77
14. I wear boxer-briefs. Grey, Navy, Black and White.
15. I was born and raised in South Texas. Caucasian. I was a minority. Good.
16. I never learned to speak Spanish. Bad.
17. I had to milk a horse when I was nine. They have small teats.
18. I've ridden horses way more than I cared to.
19. I love, love, love to ice skate.
20.I've never seen an entire football game.
21. I've never gambled.
22. I tried crystal meth once. I was 21.
23. I was an organist for a mass at St. Patrick's Cathedral in New York.
24. I've never played golf. Except for the miniature variety.
25. I probably have only ten grey hairs. Really. I'll show you. . .
26. My first car was a new 1976 Honda Civic.
27. Four guys placed my Honda Civic in a pick-up truck and drove off with it.
28. I've smoked grass only five times. I hate it.
29. The loan number to my 1976 Honda Civic was DE-A108-GHF-2
30. I cannot pronouce the Spanish rr's. No way.
31. I lived in Toronto for three years. Canada rules.
32. I'm lousy at making bread.
33. I told my five-year-old brother that Santa Claus died after he was born.
34. I've ridden 168 different roller coasters.
35. I love downhill skiing. It's like a roller coaster.
36. I hate radishes.
37. I fall flat on my face every time I try to return a volley ball. It hurts.
38. I've never seen a single episode of "Star Trek"
39. I've seen every single episode of "Mary Tyler Moore." Many times.
40. I've never had any desire to go "drag". Ever.
41. I performed as "The Church Lady" at a club in Austin TX for two weeks.
42. I wear size 10 1/2 EEEE shoes. Size 14 in Church-Lady shoes.
43. I conquered a fear of flying. Valium rocks.
44. I told a bully to "shut your fucking mouth" in the 5th grade.
45. I was sent to the principal's office in the 5th grade. The bully ratted on me.
46. I broke my collar bone when I was two, falling head-first into a garbage can.
47. I had a Beagle named Snoopy for eight years.
48. The milk-man ran over my Snoopy when I was fifteen.
49. I secretly bought a copy of "The Exorcist" when I was fourteen.
50. I thought I was possessed after reading "The Exorcist" when I was fourteen.
51. I shot a gun only once. I was ten. I missed the turtle. Good.
52. I took harpsichord lessons for one year in college.
53. I'd always rather laugh at a situation than get stressed over it.

Okay, now tell me at least seven things about yourself. C'mon. It'll be fun. . . .