Banging On My High Chair

I’m not through banging on my high chair about that Catholic church that’s boycotting Pepsi. (See previous post.)

This church that I sang with for one Sunday is boycotting all Pepsi products because PepsiCo includes sensitivity training toward GLBTs in their new-employee orientation - - along with sensitivity training toward disability, race, gender and religion. PepsiCo has also made a donation to the Human Rights Campaign (HRC) and Parents & Friends of Lesbians and Gays.

Yes, I realize that a tax-exempt organization can be as bigoted as they want. That’s the beauty of the separation of church and state. But how productive is it to boycott a company simply because they’re being inclusive of a particular group of people? What is this church hoping to gain by doing so? What message are they sending?

I know that the Roman Catholic Church considers same-sex sexual activity a sin. Fine and dandy. (It's not like I'm some sort of crazed, kamikaze penis or something.)

But they also say that gay people should not be discriminated against and that they’re even welcome in religious orders.

When I saw the reason for this church’s boycott, it was as if they were saying, “We will not support this company because they accommodate people like you and that's wrong simply because of who you are.” That was the message they were sending, loud and clear.

That, in my opinion, is pretty messed up.

When people do things like this, it’s often an easy and convenient means of placing themselves on a pedestal. It’s often done out of ignorance and fear.

That’s pretty messed up.

What really upset me so much about this, is that I’ve spent the last ten years staying away from the church. I had been so disillusioned from the years that I spent as a monk and a friar while studying for the priesthood. Finally, I was making some tentative steps back and even looked forward to using my music in the Church once again. I think I even prayed for that just a little bit.

Then, there was that notice and the message it conveyed. A notice from a church whose mission is supposed to be one of healing and reconciliation, yet it was so disaffected and destructive.

That’s pretty messed up.

I’m not going to name this parish. No matter how much I’d like to have people google the Pepsi boycott and come across my frustrated opining about this parish, my years of wisdom has taught me to never, ever burn bridges and I’m going to stick to that.

I’m not going to become an avid Pepsi drinker. I simply prefer the nutmeggy flavor of Coke over the minty undertaste of Pepsi. I'm not going to participate in the next Pride Parade, either, because it's held in June and it's not air-conditioned.

I will, however, be singing at the Episcopal cathedral beginning next Sunday. (Their head pastor and the local bishop are both girls.)

Let the healing begin.

________________
Update: I just received an email from the anti-Pepsi church inviting me to sing in the choir on a permanent basis.

Hmmm. I think I'll stick with the Episcopal church from now on. Even though Anne Bolyn and Catherine Howard didn't fare too well with the church their hubby initiated, I think it will serve me well to make this change.

Making the Baby Jesus Cry

About a month ago, I was invited to sing in a church choir for a special occasion. The choir director at this church knew of me through someone else and he was putting together a special choir for this special Sunday service. It made me feel very special so I agreed to do it.

The music was gorgeous -- a sixteenth century double-choir piece by Victoria and there were just 14 of us making up the double-choir.

Mind you, this church was a bit unusual. It was a Catholic parish that specialized in bringing back the old Latin Mass. (Tridentine Rite) All the priests and brothers there wore the old cassocks at all times, the women in the congregation had the lace shawls covering their heads and I got the feeling that for their parishioners, Vatican II was just a vicious rumor.

No problem. I’d seen all that before. I was there to make pretty music anyway.

I really really enjoyed the rehearsal and singing in this choir. Like I said, it was only for that special occasion but it made me want to be a part of the church again. I considered joining their choir on a regular basis.

Then, there was this notice in the church bulletin:

No Pepsi? What was that all about?

I assumed that maybe PepsiCo provided employee benefits that could be applied toward contraception or something like that. Conservative Catholics hate contraception.

Well, I googled it and it turns out that a number of right-wing Catholic organizations have indeed called for a boycott of all Pepsi products - - - are you ready for this?

. . . because PepsiCo includes the GLBT category in their new employee diversity sensitivity training (along with disability sensitivity training and a host of others).

These Catholic websites claimed that by doing so, Pepsi “promotes homosexuality in the workplace” and we should boycott all their products.

Now, how in the world does Pepsi promote homosexuality?

Does it happen like this? Two guys are watching football.

“Dude. There’s no way I could ever be gay. No way.”

“Me neither, man. No way.”

silence . . .

(slurrrp. Takes a sip of Pepsi.)

“Dude. You got any Judy Garland we could listen to?”

Yeah, I remember when we boycotted Florida orange juice because of the whole Anita Bryant thing, but this was a church that was calling for a boycott – simply because Pepsi was being inclusive.

Didn’t Jesus say, “Come unto me all who are burdened?”

Here, I was feeling all good about the possibility of singing in a church again and I came across this nonsense. (For a moment, I thought about joining anyway and bringing a big ol’ Pepsi to every rehearsal.)

But no, I’ll leave them alone. If they think that boycotting Pepsi brings them closer to the Risen Christ, fine. Frankly, it sounds pretty disaffected to me though.

I still want to sing in a church choir though. . . .

Yada-yada-yada, I’ll be singing in the choir at a nice Episcopalian church beginning next Sunday.
After all, Episcopalians don’t make the baby Jesus cry.

Nutmeg

Did you know that if Krakatoa, the volcano in Indonesia, blew up like it did back in the 1880's, it would wipe out this village that produces one hundred percent of all the nutmeg used to make Coca Cola?

When I heard that, I thought, "THAT's the spice that's used in Coke!"

And that's why I like Coke better than Pepsi. I prefer nutmeg over peppermint.

Sigh. . .

I just love it when the Answers to Life's Questions are revealed. . . .