Exercise Classes

The ever-elusive quest to find a means of exercise that doesn’t repulse me continues.


I still have my membership at the fancy-schmancy health club, but I have to admit that it pretty much goes unused. (My employer pays for the majority of it.) My employer does this so that the employees (me) will remain healthy, happy, and not use up a lot of health insurance.

When you think about it, it really is unethical for me to be spending the money this way without producing any benefits. Sort of like congress.

So, I decided to look in at some of the many exercise classes that are offered. After all, if I’m in a class, it’ll be embarrassing to slink away five minutes after it begins. (That’s sort of my habit whenever I do actually go to the health club.)

Oh my goodness, there are at least ten different exercise classes offered every day.

The first thing I did was to cross off any of them that began in the morning. “Group Cycle” at 6:00 am?
Rub a lamp.

While we’re at it, anything during the lunch hour is out, too.  Does anything in the phrase, "lunch hour" remotely suggest an exercize class?


Next, let’s check off anything that has “extreme” or “completely” or “blast” or “advanced” in the title. Just looking at the class titled “Abs Blast” made me queasy.

There were quite a few dance classes. Hey, that might be fun. However, I crossed out a couple of them because they danced to Hip Hop (which is just a bunch of hollering accompanied by repeating, faux-percussion.)

So, during my lunch hour, I actually went to the health club just to discuss some possibilities. (It's next door to my workplace and connected by an underground walkway.)  

The very chipper health club employee who looked just like Carrie Bradshaw suggested a cycling class for beginners. (I envisioned toddlers on tricycles.) She’ll be teaching it this afternoon and said she’ll be on the lookout for me. She’ll even help me get my tricycle set up.

For tomorrow, there’s a Cardio Dance class taught by Christopher and she said everyone loves that class.

Well . . . okay.

So, I headed home to get my gym bag during my lunch hour.

However, I turned around and came back.

It was windy outside.