On the Airplane

This past weekend, I had the joy of flying from Chicago to Austin and back. After having done so, I have this to say. . . .
. . . When did passengers become so inconsiderate?

I always try to be a nice passenger because, hello, let’s face it, we’re all tightly packed into a metal tube together for three hours. The least bit of inconsideration in such an environment easily becomes amplified.

Case in point. On my flight down to Austin, my seat companion was a big guy who felt he had a right to take up a third of my real estate on the plane. His left elbow and knee were clearly on MY side of the seat divider. I wanted to ask the flight attendant to charge him for a third of my airfare.

Also, after the pilot instructed us to turn of all electronic devices, he refused to do so and kept texting someone.

Even worse, he continued to receive and send texts during the flight. I really should have notified the authorities at this point. His electronic lack of self-control could have interfered with the flight communications, causing the pilot to inadvertently land somewhere in the wilderness, like Tulsa.

On the way back, I actually had a nice window seat near the front of the airplane. I had no seatmate as there was no one sitting in the middle. But the young woman in the aisle seat next to me decided to cater herself with a huge Tex-Mex dinner on board.

When I first sat down, I first thought that someone nearby had Doritos Taco- breath. Then after we took off, my neighbor schlepped out this HUGE Styrofoam container packed to the brim with Mexican food.

Chawmp-chawmp-smack-smack.
Chawmp.
Smack.
Moo.
Oink.

Mind you, I’m all for bringing food on the plane. After all, they don’t serve meals anymore so you might as well supply your own sustenance.

But, as I mentioned earlier, we’re all packed tightly together in a pressurized environment. Devouring a huge container of spicy, garlic-comino-laden food is hardly the thing to do. An innocuous bagel and cream cheese would have been more appropriate.

What an inconsiderate cow.

It’s a good thing I’m not a flight attendant.