Sushi and Shoe Shining

My ever-elusive quest to find a gym that I’ll actually go to continues.

You may recall that the Crunch Fitness that was so conveniently located in my apartment building closed down. Subsequently, those of us Crunch members who had been dislocated were provided with discount memberships at another Crunch place five blocks away.

I went there three times in the past two months. Also, since Crunch had closed down MY facility, the other one was always jam-packed. Not only was this other Crunch five blocks away and jam-packed, but they played really loud rap music all the time.

It made it very difficult for me to even hear my Enya and Vivaldi on my iPod.

It was not a happy place.

So, I joined a fancy-schmancy gym today. Actually, it’s not a gym but an athletic club. What’s the difference, you ask?

Well, an athletic club shines your shoes while you work out and also has a sushi bar inside.

Oh, and it also costs twice as much.

But the fancy-schmancy athletic club is next door to my workplace. Actually, it's connected to it. We can even smell the chlorine from the indoor pool in the lobby where I work. I would have to be a comatose amoeba not to get my sorry butt in there.

Please don’t think I have buckets of money with which to join fancy athletic clubs. My workplace gets a discounted membership for us and my workplace also reimburses us for half of any fitness membership we use. It comes out to a pretty sweet deal.

Oh, and this athletic club also has (I am not making this up) Doggy Yoga Class.
It’s called Paws & Flow.
Isn’t that cute? I’m definitely going to bring Portia. She would love it.

Besides the sushi bar and shoe-shining, this facility has an indoor pool, a roof-top pool, a sun deck, an indoor track, laundry services, a spa where they rub strange things on you, a pro shop and valet parking.

And not one scintilla of rap music.

I’m really looking forward to going there.

Still, I’m sort of confused. . . .

. . . Exactly how many calories will I actually burn while eating sushi and having my shoes shined?