The Man-Purse

I carry this black shoulder satchel with me just about everywhere. I call my “man-purse”. I obtained my man purse about ten years ago from a mom-and-pop store on Yonge Street in Toronto for five dollars.

That’s five Canadian dollars. I don’t know what that is in U.S. dollars because math is not my strong suit. I haven’t a prayer of mastering bilingual arithmetic.

Anyway, I’ve grown fond of this man-purse because, like I said, I carry it everywhere. I’ve grown so used to its various pockets and zippers and compartments. Cell phone goes here, camera goes here, book for reading on the subway goes here, Ibuprophen goes here, back-up Ibuprophen here.

I think I’m very particular about satchels. I remember being in 3rd grade and not liking any of the book satchels that were offered. I didn’t want one with Batman or Spiderman or any cartoon character on it. Only a plain one would do. Finally, I settled for a red and yellow plaid one. And then I got beat up.

About a month ago, the zipper to one of the most-used compartments broke. I had to shift everything to a different place and walk around with a broken man-purse.

I’ve been shopping around for a new one with no luck. One store had nice leather ones but they were about $130.00. There was no way I was going to spend that much, especially when I’ve had this one for ten years and paid only C$5.00 for it. I didn’t even want to spend $30.00 on a new one.

Target and Walmart didn’t have any I liked. They all had compartments in different, goofy places. I’d never be able to find my Ibuprophen in a man-purse like that. I’d end up riding the subway with a headache and nothing to read.

Yesterday, I was walking by that store that had the $130.00 man-purses. They were selling all kinds of luggage and man-purses out of plastic bins on the sidewalk. Are you ready for this? They had my man-purse!

It had pockets and compartments in the very same place as my old man-purse. This one was even better because it was blue. I love blue. Most everything I wear is blue.

This man-purse was $20.00 but they were being sold for $15.00. I was one very happy camper.

That is, until I got it home and discovered that the zipper to that often-used compartment was messed up. I could use it, but I really had to tug to get it open or closed. It was only a matter of time before it broke.

Dang.

Well, today, I walked by the same place and I saw that they had a few of them left. I tried the others and the zippers worked fine so I asked the guy if I could trade mine out. After a bit of grumbling, he finally said, “Yeah, go ahead.”

I had all my stuff in the zipper-deficient man-purse and had to transfer it to the good one. But, hey. I’ve got my new, perfect man-purse and am happy as a clam.

I’m not looking forward to tossing the old one down the trash chute. It has served me well over the years. You can’t say I didn’t get my money’s worth out of it. But anything in my apartment that’s not being used just freaks me out. I am the very opposite of a pack-rat.

Epilogue:

I went back to the sidewalk man-purse place on my lunch break and bought a second one just like the other. After all, in ten years when this one wears out, I’ll have a replacement. (I’ll keep it in my storage locker).

Like I said, I’m very particular about these things. Now, not only do I have the perfect man-purse, but I have a backup to the perfect man-purse.

I am bathed in comfort.