Peoria!

I began my trip around Illinois today.
It’s Sunday night and I’m in the city of East Peoria at the moment. It’s so exciting.

My wireless connection is pretty "iffy" here and I don't like that.

Anyway, like I said in my recent post, I’m going to keep you all updated, dear puppies; updated in excruciating detail about my trip around Illinois.

If I have to make this hugely boring and tedious trip, then I might as well try to satirize it. That’s how I try to live my life, anyway.

I left Chicago in my nifty Zip Car around 2:30 this afternoon. I used the same Zip Car that I used during my hugely boring and tedious trip to Springfield just a few days ago. It’s a brand new Toyota Scion, sort of a smallish SUV type thing in a pretty blue color. (The color is VERY important, you know). I already feel like it's "mine."

On my way, I stopped at the same restaurant that my boss and I stopped at, both going and coming to Springfield. It’s a family-type restaurant on Exit 197 with the very unusual name of “The Family Table.” I think it used to be a Denny’s or something; it has a Denny-esque shape about it.

Anyway, I like it because the folks there are really friendly, and the waitress calls me “Hon”. (Good Lord, I’ve been there three times this past week.)

And the prices are great. For breakfast last week, I had two eggs (ANY STYLE!!) hash browns and coffee for $2.95.

They always say eggs “any style” but I wonder what would happen if I ordered them “coddled” or “shirred”. I never do. That’s snooty, and I'm not really sure what a coddled or shirred egg actually is. I always order them “over easy” which is an equivalent to “medium rare” I guess.

Anyway, tonight I threw caution to the wind and had the buffet consisting of your basic country fare. I had two pieces of fried fish, a piece of fried chicken, mashed potatoes, brown gravy and a salad. All was going well until the brown gravy broke free of the crater I’d made for it in my mashed potatoes which were sitting athwart the fried fish. The brown gravy got on my fried fish! Oh my god!

Ever since I was a little kid, I've hated when one food item touches another on my plate, especially if, say, the liquid from the spinach gets on the fried chicken. That’s just horrible.

I’ve always eaten one food item at a time also. It doesn’t even have to be the entrée first, but I always eat one thing then move onto the other; never taking a bite of this then a bite of that.

I don’t know how people do that.

So, I managed to eat my fried fish, one piece of which had some brown gravy on it, dang it. With two Diet Cokes and the tip, my bill was less than ten bucks. And the nice waitress called me “Hon.”

Here's a pic of the place. If you're ever on I-55, it's at Exit 197. Just so you know. Isn't this exciting? Doesn't this pic make you wish you were on this trip too?

So, I drove on down I-55 to Bloomington where I exited to I-74 to Peoria. Exiting I-55 to I-74 was the high point of the trip, let me tell you. I needed a sedative after that.

As I entered East Peoria, there were a whole gaggle of your regular, garden-variety Interstate hotels so I stopped for the night. How do you pick one over the other? Super 8, Best Western, Travelodge, and Comfort Inn were all there. I chose Travelodge because my car just seemed to drive into their parking lot.

I’ve added two little-bitty soaps to my collection. There’s a Bible just in case I need it. (Why do they do that? If someone is that much into the Bible, don't you think they'd bring their own?) I’ll leave you with some inspirational scripture, dear puppies, before retiring for the night.
You ready?

Joshua 15:22-24:

"Kinah, Dimonah, Adadah, Kedesh, Hazor, Ithnan, Ziph, Telem, Bealoth."

If I ever attend a right-wing Christian rally, that’ll be the sign I hold up; none of this John 3:16 nonsense.

Ziph?

Okay. It's 6:45 pm in Peoria.

Sorry, East Peoria.

Now, what the hell am I going to do?