Tuesday, March 22, 2011



We’re all prone to being sucked in by them. I suspect that in twenty or thirty years, the following will be taking place:

There will be a huge industry built around the recycling of granite. The millions and millions of granite counter tops in kitchens will be as gauche and maligned as lime-green shag carpeting is today.

Billions of dollars in profit will be made from tattoo removal. The amount of barbed wire tattoos removed from flabby biceps will be enough to encircle the earth seven times.

There will be dance clubs that feature a “retro rap night” once a month.

Empty bottles of Aquafina and Desani will be on display in museums as evidence of our generation’s gullibility. People will laugh at them.

We’ll also laugh at how much we used to overuse bullet points when writing. Every sentence will no longer begin with one.

There will be millions of elderly women with big, firm, puffy breasts surrounded by sagging skin. And tattoos.

We’ll make fun of the big, puffy SUVs that are currently being driven. They’ll be the equivalent of the AMC Pacers and Gremlins from the 1970s.

And finally,

Grocery bags will come in a multitude of colors, having been made from the billions of discarded, forgotten awareness bracelets.

Mark my words. This will be our future.


At 11:19 PM , Blogger Bob said...

I have one of those barbed wire tattoos....though not on my bicep!


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