Mexico Closes Border with Texas Due to Ebola Threat

MEXCO CITY - After learning of the recent cases of the Ebola virus in Texas, Mexico’s president, Enrique Peña Nieto, has taken prompt and effective measures to insure that Mexican citizens are kept safe from the deadly virus spreading across its neighbor to the north. 

“We must take all measures to keep our border safe and secure,” stated Nieto. “To that end, effective immediately, no Texans will be allowed across our border.”

Today, visitors flying from Texas into Mexican cities such as Cancun and Acapulco were met by immigration officials wearing hazmat suits and detained for extensive medical evaluations before being refused entrance into the country.  

“I was never so humiliated in my life!” reported Heather Platter of Plano TX, a newlywed arriving in Acapulco for her honeymoon. “This was supposed to be my dream wedding. We spent thousands booking this resort!” 

Similar fates were met by other Texans hoping to enter the country. A group of senior citizens from the First Baptist Church of Dallas appeared visibly rattled after receiving extensive medical examinations by Mexican health officials upon their arrival at Cancún International Airport earlier today. 

“I realize these are drastic measures,” reported Nieto. “But since Governor Perry refused to participate in President Obama’s Affordable Care Act, he left millions of Texans with no access to health care. With the rate of Ebola having increased by 100 percent in the recent weeks, I had to take all measures possible to protect our citizens from Texans who might pose a threat to our nation’s health and safety.”