Pancakes?

I recently noticed that Denny’s and IHOP are featuring “All-You-Can-Eat Pancakes.” Now, if that’s not reaching to the bottom of the advertising barrel, I don’t know what is. 

Pancakes? 

Pancakes??!

First of all, the breakfasts at these two establishments -- and let’s face it, they are just analogs of each other -- are gargantuan. By the time one finishes with the Giant Omelet from Hell, bacon, sausage, ham, hash browns, and grits, -- who wants pancakes? The pancakes are there just to make the plate look bigger. 

Who are these people who aren’t getting enough pancakes anyway? Was there a soaring demand for unlimited discs of cheap, griddled batter? 

For one thing, I’m not a breakfast eater. Never have been. Even as a little kid, my breakfast request was usually, “Just a cup of coffee, thank you.”  (Seriously) But I have to admit that I occasionally enjoy a big Denny’s breakfast – at noon. I think, maybe, I’ve eaten half a pancake from the giant pile of discs accompanying my Grand Slam. But that’s it. 

The only people I can imagine taking advantage of the All-You-Can-Eat Pancake Special are families who might have several teen-age boys. They’re bottomless pits and filling them up can be quite challenging. Otherwise, I just can’t envision hoards of folks banging their forks on the tables for more pancakes. 

Still, I’m sure this advertisement has worked its wonders. After all, we really are an All-You-Can-Eat kind of nation -- one that certainly doesn't need to be eating all we can eat.

But Pancakes? If it was All-You-Can-Eat Bacon, I might be singing a different tune. 

Otherwise, I’ll just have a cup of coffee, thank you.