A Pet Peeve

I’ve had this pet peeve for quite some time and I think it’s time I write about it.

Here it is:

Eating food during a meeting.

Why do people do this? Meetings take up an hour or two, yet some folks feel that it’s absolutely necessary to schlep in an entire meal for it. Haven’t they the capacity to nourish themselves outside of that two-hour block?

I was attending an early morning meeting recently (which was in another city – I won’t say where) and this fellow next to me munched healthy breakfast food the entire time.

First, he brought out half a banana. Oh, okay, that’s not too bad. Then, out came another half a banana. Why was that banana absolutely necessary during that precise time? I really wondered why that banana was so necessary.

After that, a plastic container of granola was retrieved from his backpack. Every thirty seconds or so, he’d rattle around in that container, take a pinch of granola and munch away.

Every thirty seconds:

Rattle, rattle, rattle,
Munch, munch, munch.

Pause. . .

Rattle, rattle, rattle,
Munch, munch, munch.

I could feel myself tensing up with frustrations

Rattle, rattle, rattle,
Munch, munch, munch.

Finally, he finished with the damn granola. But Mr. Breakfast-Man wasn’t done. Oh, no.

He reached in his backpack and began rustling around for something else. Out came a plastic bag of grapes which he had to have.

Every thirty seconds, he’d rustle around in that plastic bag, pop a grape and munch away.

Rustle, rustle, rustle,
Pop.
Munch, munch, munch.

Pause . . .

Rustle, rustle, rustle,
Pop.
Munch, munch, munch.

If that wasn’t bad enough, a woman across from me had a Tupperware container of cold cereal. About once every minute, she’d peel open the airtight lid and sslluuuurp that cereal with a plastic spoon and replace the lid.

Peel back the lid,
Ssslluuuuurp!
Replace the lid.

Rustle, rustle, rustle,
Pop.
Munch, munch, munch.

Peel back the lid,
Ssslluuuuurp!
Replace the lid.

Rustle, rustle, rustle,
Pop.
Munch, munch, munch.

I was about to go insane.

Haven’t these people the foresight to schedule their nourishment at appropriate times? It’s not like they’re infants who require feedings every two hours.

Whenever I conduct all-day meetings or seminars, I simply schedule breakfast and lunch breaks. A break. Meaning, “Go out and feed yourself – at the food court 22 stories below – and then come back. You may return with a small caffeinated beverage."

Starbucks -- okay.

Jamba Juice – you're pushing it.