Carry-On Luggage

Now that airlines are practically charging more to check your luggage than they are for the actual ticket, many passengers are trying to bring WAY too much in their carry-on. I’ve also noticed that the airline staff never enforce the size limit of your carry-on luggage.

You see, the problem all began with the luggage industry’s discovery of the wheel. This enables tiny, attractive, narcissistic daddy’s girls to pull carry-ons the size and weight of sleeper sofas onto the plane. And, yes, I understand that men and women have different needs when they go on a trip. As a guy, my packing generally involves stuffing two pair of clean underpants in my laptop case. That’s pretty much it.

I have a solution.

No more wheels on carry-on luggage. Wheels on carry-ons should be as illegal as guns on an airplane.

After all, it’s a carry-on piece of luggage – not a wheel-on.

If you’re unable to CARRY your carry-on from the shuttle to gate K-42, then you don’t need to be hogging all the overhead bin with it.