Monday, March 02, 2009

Titanic - A Movie Review


On Friday night, I was bored and couldn’t sleep. So, I watched the epic movie, Titanic, which lasted until 3:30 am. (“Epic” meaning “Incredibly Long”). I think the movie actually began shortly after the ship sank in 1912.

I had seen this movie when it was released, and yes, it is pretty sensational.

Maybe I’m getting old and jaded. But after the movie was over with the other night, I thought, “Hmmm. Basically we had a story about two young people having a one-night stand while on a cruise - - like that’s never happened before??”

“Oh, but they were in love! They were soul-mates!” I hear you say.

“Ummm. They were 20-year-old kids. When you’re that age, you fall in love and find your soul-mate every Friday night. Especially if alcohol is involved and Celine Dion is supplying the sound track.”

Also, I hope that they employed safe sex during their illicit tryst. After all, he was a homeless, unemployed vagabond in 1912 - - there's no telling what nasty diseases he might have been purveying.

But what really irked me was when the main character (Rose) was an old lady and tossed that multi-million diamond overboard.

Oh my goodness, she could have donated it to charity.

“But it was her way of obtaining closure,” I hear you say.

Frankly, I think “closure” is highly over-rated. There’s a lot to be said for mulling things over incessantly and holding grudges if you ask me.

Besides, she was so old and had put off “obtaining closure” for about 110 years. Why then?

Oh! And another thing. That diamond didn’t even belong to her! Remember? It belonged to her nasty fiancé who she never married.

So, the heroine of this epic film was basically a multi-million dollar jewel thief. If she’d been brought to court, Judge Judy would have wiped up the floor with her.

Like I said, maybe I’m just getting old and jaded and realistic.

Anyway, my TIVO will be recording the 1954 version of Titanic in a couple of days.
I really hope there are no love stories in it and we get to see the disaster unfold like God intended.

2 comments:

  1. Yeesh there Irwin Allen! Don't go all "don't mess with my disaster" movie on us!

    Old and jaded, me too and you know what my friends tell me when I do this to a film?

    "It's a MOVIE for cripes sake!!!!"

    Oh for the days of cold, hard reality. Maybe we should just stick to documentaries?

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  2. Did you ever see George Costanza's reaction to that movie? He said something like "So, that old woman, she was just a big liar, wasn't she?"

    To which Jerry replied, "And a bit of a tramp, if you ask me."

    LOL! :)

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