Brief Mild Thematic Elements

Yesterday, a friend of mine and I saw the charming film, Marley and Me, while I was visiting in Austin Texas. I had read the book last year and cried, so I was prepared for it when I saw the movie.

Wrong!

I was just a big ol’ sobbing puddle of goo.

Anyway, while we were watching the half-dozen previews before the actual movie began, we both noticed that one of the upcoming movies was rated PG. Now, whenever a movie is rated something besides ‘G’ there’s always a disclaimer to say why it was rated a certain way.

For example, if a movie is rated ‘R’ they’ll say something like “Contains graphic violence, nudity, and strong sexual content” or something like that. A ‘PG-13’ movie might say “Contains strong language and brief nudity.”

This PG-rated film said it contained, (are you ready for this?) “Brief mild thematic elements.”

Could anything BE more vague?

What the hell does that mean?

I can just see it now – a young couple trying to decide if their 10 year old kid should be allowed to see Marley and Me because it’s rated PG.

Wife: Honey, do you think we should let Cooper see Marley and Me? It’s rated PG because of brief mild thematic elements.

Husband: I don’t know, honey. Didn’t we agree that he wouldn’t be exposed to thematic elements until he was twelve?

Wife: Well, it really is a cute movie. I read the book last year and I didn’t notice any really strong thematic elements in it.

Husband: Well, I guess it’ll be okay. After all, it did say that the thematic elements were brief.

Wife: And also mild.

I really wonder what the Motion Picture Association of America meant by this description?

Hmmm. Come to think of it, most of the dates I go on contain nothing more than brief mild thematic elements.

Oh, by the way, when you go see Marley and Me, there’s a scene where the lead character played by that blond guy (I can’t remember names) is surprised with a birthday party. While the guests are singing Happy Birthday, one of the guests is none other than Dave Barry, the humor columnist from the Miami Herald.

I thought that was pretty cool.