Seattle-Bound!

Well, I’m excited.

You see, I was all set to attend a conference in Portland (the one in Oregon) next month. I thought, “Hey, Portland (the one in Oregon) is just down the road from Lorraine (the one in Seattle). I can go visit Lorraine on the weekend and then take the train down to Portland (the one in Oregon) for my conference.”

Then my boss said I didn’t have to go to the conference. Well, actually she said it was up to me but I’m pretty adamant about not spending taxpayer dollars on conferences of questionable importance. So I’m not going to the conference in Portland (the one in Oregon).

But then I thought, “Hey, that doesn’t mean I can’t go see Lorraine anyway. And take a couple of days off work, especially since there won’t be any conference.”

Wouldn’t you know it? The airfares have actually gone down since I was first planning on attending this conference. So, I bought an airplane ticket to Seattle today.

See? This is what I like about being single. I can fly off to exotic destinations like Seattle or Austin on a moment's notice when I want to.

I don’t have to check with a spouse or pri-mate (primary mate) before doing so.

I don’t have to negotiate my finances with anyone else. I don’t have to feel guilty about spending money on myself when I should be saving it for the kids’ college fund.

I don’t even have to worry about a pet to board or a plant to water while I’m away. Miss Healthypants picks up my mail and throws it all away for me before I return.

Most of all, I don’t have to share my Tivo with anyone else. I don’t know how in the world any family gets along with one Tivo in the house.

The secret to a successful marriage has got to be “separate Tivos.”

I don’t think I’m selfish. After all, I haven’t garnered anyone I could even be selfish to.

So there.

I’m off to Seattle in a month. I’m already looking forward to oysters at Pike Place Market.

And, of course, being with Lorraine, her family, the Neighbor and all their friends. It’s amazing that such lovely people would even want to be around a selfish snurd like me.

But for that, I am exceedingly grateful.