States of the Nation

I’ve always enjoyed looking at maps, even when I was a little kid. The 50 states in the U.S. have some pretty distinctive shapes (except for Colorado and Wyoming) that I’ve been very familiar with for a long time.

I have very strong viewpoints when it comes to shapes of the states. Some of them look angry, like Georgia, South Carolina, New York and Virginia. Some look happy, like Texas. Others are very masculine, like Montana, while others are feminine (Illinois).

Montana looks like the profile of Lyndon B. Johnson. Have you ever noticed that?

That's the first thing I noticed about LBJ when he became president; that he looks just like Montana.

Mississippi looks like the profile of Bart Simpson. I don’t like the way Oregon is shaped. The northeast corner can't decide if it wants to be a right angle or not. The border of it heading west all of a sudden jumps up to the north right before touching the Pacific Ocean.

That bugs me.

Four states have panhandles: Oklahoma, Idaho, West Virginia and Florida. I imagine it must be pretty unique to live on those little slivers of land.

Nevada has always looked kind of slutty to me.

Wisconsin looks all lopsided. The bottom part is to the right and the top slops over to the left. I don't know why they made Wisconsin like that.

And don't even get me started on Nebraska.

And the entire U.S. looks like some kind of animal, trumpeting its elephant-like appendage in the air. Can't you just hear it?

There you go. Just a little peek into my weird little mind.