Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Basketball and Soccer

I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t watch competitive sports. Frankly, I just don’t “get it.” I really don’t understand the intrinsic value in getting a ball through a goal, into a hoop, over a net, or in the outfield.

But that’s not to say I won’t offer my observations on the subject.

Basketball: It seems like there are guys who are way too big playing in way too small of a space. These guys are all six-foot-thirteen, constantly bumping into each other and they just seems so, well, . . . crowded!

Then, there’s the game itself. It’s so repetitive. One guy dunks the ball in the basket, he grandstands, then they all lope to the other end of the court (which takes three steps) and another guy does the same thing. Back and forth it goes.

The basketball scores always indicate this. It seems every game is always something like 102 to 104.

Soccer (Futbol): The opposite is true here. The playing field is way too large. It’s bigger than a football field.

I can attest to that, because I remember having to play soccer during middle school phys ed class. There was just wayyyy too much running involved, not that I actually did any. The ball would get kicked to the other end of the field and I’d just sort of meander around until it eventually came back along with all the other players.

Another thing about soccer is that no one ever scores. It’s sooooo boring. The soccer scores attest to this fact. After what seems like fours hours of play, the score is always something like 2 to 1.

Here’s my suggestion:

Have basketball played on a court the size of a soccer field. It would give the gigantic players some room and the game wouldn’t be so repetitive. Also, if the hoop was about 30 feet high, a score might be much more impressive. Running 120 yards to make a basket might also wear them down a bit, thus eliminating all that grandstanding and puffery when they make a basket.

Then, let the soccer players play on a basketball court. At least the players would be close enough so that the spectators could actually see the game. Also, some of the players could actually kick the ball into the nets ever so often.

Those are my suggestions.
Not that I’d be actually watching any of this, mind you.

3 comments:

  1. I have often wished that I did "get it" and had a team that I could get all rabid about when they play. Unfortunately, nothing has changed for me since 7th grade when during a game of flag football, I managed to catch the ball and miracle of miracles make a touchdown. Too bad I had run the wrong way and scored on the opposing side.

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  2. You should work for ESPN.

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  3. Anonymous3:17 PM

    Sports... hmmmmm...

    Yeah, I got nothin'.

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