It's Leap Day

February 29th. Leap Day.

I can understand the need for a leap day every four years (you know, the earth’s rotation doesn’t exactly sync with 365 days to circumnavigate the sun, blah, blah, blah)

But who thought of this calendar where some months get thirty days and some get thirty one? I can never keep track of which month has which.

So, I’ve come up with the following calendar to even it all up.

You ready?

First of all, get rid of Mondays. All of them. Mondays suck.

Now that each week has six days, put five weeks in each month. Each month will now have 30 days. Twelve months makes 360 days.

“But there are 365 days in the year,” you say.

Right. I’ve thought of that.

Each year, after Dec. 30th, there will be Day A,B,C,D and E (Day F on leap years)

Those five days will be holidays leading up to January 1st of each year. Everyone will have those days off (with pay, of course). That way, there’ll be no more fighting over who has the days off between Christmas and New Year's.

Oh, and on each of those days, every food establishment will be required by law to be “All You Can Eat” for the low price of ten dollars per person. Otherwise, their operating licenses would be revoked.

I should be president.