Thursday, September 20, 2007

I'm Lovin' It

What is McDonald’s slogan?

“I’m lovin’ it.”

You might want to re-think it when you read this article. Apparently, some McDonald’s workers were using a plastic bucket marked “Soiled Towels Only” to refill a milkshake machine. A customer noticed it, took a pic with her cell phone and reported it to the local news station in Orlando. She also reported it to McDonald’s headquarters. She and the local news station received different responses from McDonald’s.

Now McDonald's has three flavors of milkshakes:
Vanilla
Chocolate
Mildew

But, you wanna know what one of the most unsanitary things you can encounter?

Holy water.

Think about it. You’ve got this little pool of water, sometimes with a wet sponge in it, with hundreds of folks dipping their fingers in it. Folks that have used the subway or bus on their way to church, picked their noses, gone to the toilet, and then dipped their fingers in there. I’d hate to think what the bacteria count is in that stuff. A restaurant inspector would shut down the church so fast it would make the priest's head spin like Linda Blair.

I was the sacristan for three years while in the monastery. One of the duties, other than being a glorified altar-boy, was to keep the holy water font supplied with holy water. We kept the holy water in a gallon-sized glass bottle and when it would get low, I’d fill it with tap water and a priest would bless it. (That’s how holy water becomes holy).

The idea of all those folks dipping their nasty, grubby fingers in there really got to me. So, after the priest did his thing, I did mine. . . .

I’d add a good-sized glurp of Clorox bleach to the jug holy water.

The priest may have made it holy, but damnit, I kept it sanitary.

So, when you go to mass, you might want to keep your hands out of that nasty, filthy holy water.
Really.

3 comments:

  1. I think the Holy Spirit is responsible for killing the germs.

    It's a good thing too, cuz the HS needs a job. God creates and maintains the universe, Jesus saves souls... what does the Holy Spirit do anyway? Give him a mop.

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  2. Iwanski - I love your Trinitarian theology.

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  3. What Iwanski said. I mean, think about it...surely the Holy Spirit is at work when you think about holy water from, say, Lourdes. You've got sick, diseased people getting in the water and then you have people bringing that water home to use for healing....which reminds me, I'm coming down with a cold and I need to find the Lourdes water...

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