Philadelphia -- As Senator Rick Santorum, known for his opposition to gay rights, gave a heartfelt concession speech on Nov. 7, emergency rooms all across Pennsylvania were inundated by thousands of gays and lesbians across the Keystone State.
A spokesperson for Our Lady of the Resurrection hospital in Philadelphia reported, "We saw thousands of hand and digit injuries, apparently from too many over-enthusiastic high-fives experienced by our gay and lesbian patients."
Meanwhile, the ex-Senator has reportedly purchased a used mobile home for himself and his family since he will now be earning the federal minimum wage of $5.15 per hour.
There were plenty of straights with similar injuries last night. Myself among them. When that news came out, frankly, I didn't even care what happened the rest of the night. ('K, a little I did) because it boded so well. Yippee skippee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteGoodbye Rick Santorum.
ReplyDeleteA lot of people may mock you and say lots of bad things about you and call you a stupid bigot, but always remember this one thing--
They're totally right.
Is that why my hands still hurt?
ReplyDelete