Airplane Food

Airplane food seems to be a thing of the past and that's just fine with me. Not because it's notoriously bad, but because it's just so impractical. Many years ago when I was young, lithe, and stupid, I was employed as a restaurant manager. Let me tell you, the amount of labor, coordination, time and money involved to get a meal to an airline passenger is just mind-boggling. Frankly, I'm glad that the airlines are now putting all that time, money and energy into other things like making me take my shoes off at security.

(Side note: Why, oh why, can't they supply chairs after the security check-point so that we have a place to sit and replace our shoes on our feet? Is that too much to ask? I'm so tired of hopping around on one foot while I replace each shoe. From now on, I'm just going to sit on the floor like a little kid.)

And then, you have these people who "special order" their airplane meal ahead of time. My god, have we become so fragile that we cannot fly to Cincinnati without an entire airline accomodating our low-sodium-non-fat-kosher-vegan needs en route?

Frankly, I enjoy flying. I love to watch people at the airport for it can tell you so much about our wierd human behavior. I find it refreshing to be as absolutely nice and friendly as possible to the airline personnel - - lord knows, they deserve it. I always plan on bringing a really, really good "airplane book" that I can look forward to losing myself in during the flight. I've learned to reserve the seat by the emergency exit; that way, my 6'3" self can be comfy and have plenty of leg room. And so I can be the first one to leap out when the airplane crashes near Cincinnati.

And I bring my own food and beverages! I'd much rather have my own take-along feast in my back-pack rather than have to fool around with a flight attendant and the person next to me. The less I have to deal with people while reading my "airplane book", the better.

So, whenever I hear someone complaining about airplane food, I just want to tell them, "When your kitchen can fly, then you can complain."