You Don't Get a Letter
Someone needs to put a stop to all the letters being glommed on to the LGBT moniker (Lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender). I recently came across an event that was for LGBTQA. - - -
Here’s the explanation. The “Q” stood for “questioning” or rather, those who are unsure about their sexual orientation or identity. The “A” stood for “allies” – those who support the LGBT’s and, I guess, the Q’s as well.
“Now, wait a minute," I thought. "This is getting out of hand."
First of all, the “B”. I’m like Carrie Bradshaw; “bisexual” is just a train ticket on the way to “gay.” Out with it. (literally). Until you make up your mind and quit teasing everyone, you don't get a letter.
The “T”: A transgendered person is not the same animal as a homosexual. Gender identity and sexual orientation are two completely different things. Many transgendered people are homosexual, but many are not. Being homosexual in no way implies that one has gender identity issues. Automatically putting LG’s together with the T’s implies similarity, especially to those who are ignorant of both. We love you, but you don't get a letter.
To the Q’s, sure, you may be “questioning”, but I say, until you’ve rented a U-Haul way too soon after dating someone of the same sex, you’re just not one of us. Until you make your way over to the “B” and then solidly implant yourself to the “L” or the “G”, you don’t get a letter.
To the “allies”, sure, it’s great that you give your love and support. But to give you a letter seems like we’re too needy for acceptance. Yes, Fag Hags are a big part of our culture and we don’t know what we’d do without them. It’s great that you’re an ally, but you still fall in love with people who have different naughty bits than yours. You don’t get a letter.
So, what would be a good name? I have a simple solution.
It’s “Mo” – as is hoMOsexuals. No more of this lesbian or gay stuff. Just “Mo”.
Same-sex marriage? Nope. It’s now Mo marriage.
Gay rights? You got it. It’s now Mo rights.
Gay and lesbian scooter club; a Mo scooter club.
A gay prostitute: A Mo ho.
(See? I told you I was gonna “go there”.)
Someone who pretends to be gay but isn't: A faux Mo.
(Okay, I'll stop.)
So, let’s do some trimming of the PC stuff and keep things simple like they ought to be.
I have to admit. I’m sounding like a Mo Andy Rooney . . .